helikedmyshoes: (bsg + laughter is the best medicine)
Dear Lost,

Battlestar Galactica did the last supper picture so much better.
helikedmyshoes: (bsg + starbuck + third star to the right)
One of the things I love most about Starbuck is she always keeps pushing and pushing, doing things to screw up and then turning to the people who are closest to her and saying, "do you love me now?" She just keeps waiting to find that trigger that will make everyone finally turn away from her.

It's a taunt, "I bet you don't love me after that," over and over, and I love that at the end she is still loved, and that she finally understands. I get the guilt after Zak, and how she felt she didn't deserve love. I just love that there was that little girl inside her who finally got to heal.

I miss her.
helikedmyshoes: (bsg + all along the watchtower)
I bought The Plan on blu ray today and I'm about to watch it. I know I don't get pilots, and I know everyone was all up in arms over it, but I have missed my show so much and I am really excited for this.
helikedmyshoes: (tori + can't forget the things)
I did some shopping this evening because, well, I wanted to, and I just had to get out of the house because it's so frakking hot. I ended up with The Last Unicorn and The Complete Book of Essential Oils and Aromatherapy from Borders, some wallflower plug-ins from Bath and Body Works, Dollhouse Season One on blu ray from Best Buy, and my birth control.

I haven't actually seen any of Dollhouse, but I figured I'd give it a try, and I wanted to buy something at Best Buy since I had rewards certificates to use. I am pissed at Deep Discount DVD, I ordered the Battlestar Galactica Complete Series blu rays from them when they came out two weeks ago, and logged on today so see that they are back ordered. FRAKKERS. Way to send me an email to let me know. I'm annoyed, I want my pilots NOW!! (Not that I don't already have all seasons but 4.5 on DVD. That is not that point!)

I reread the Half Blood Prince and the Deathly Hallows and decided to start the series over from the very beginning, because I haven't read the first 5 books since they came out. I just finished Sorcerer's Stone and I love how much she has already set up. JK, I tip my hat to you. Starting Chamber of Secrets tonight as soon as my laundry is done and I can remake my bed. The house really needs to be cleaned in the morning.

I am having a Tori renaissance. I love it.

I wish I had the energy to take my bike, my iPod, and some wine to the beach tonight, but I am just too tired and fried from work this weekend. I think I will retire to my air conditioned bedroom with some Harry Potter and tea tree oil. My router is fucked so I can't bring my computer which is probably a good thing, so I can actually get some sleep tonight.
helikedmyshoes: (bsg + k/l + up the stakes)
I frakked my shoulder good last night. OWW THE PAIN.

Also, the crazy dreams continue. A few nights ago it was voyeuristic (watching Adam and Jacqui have sex, REAL FUN LET ME TELL YA). Last night it was action (a plane landing too fast and crashing into a hill, no exploding but still scary as hell). What is up with my mind? Last night also included a TV show that was pretty awesome, and I want the next episode! Weird.

Work has eaten my life for the past few days, but it's been profitable which is really nice. We got ranked at work again, and I am #2! I was shocked, I've been right up there but staying around #4/#5 for the past few months. But #2! Frakking sweet. (For those who don't know, I work in a restaurant and they rank all the servers every two months. The Top Ten ranked servers get a $200 bonus, the best sections, etc.) We found out this is the last month of the bonus though, I guess the recession has finally hit Hillstone. Sucks, that extra $200 has been sweet. Oh well. I'll still take the good sections/best bar shifts as long as I can get em.

I was going to go to the gym today but my shoulder is, as I said, frakked, and I don't think I could lift my arm to put a shirt on, let alone a weight. Instead I'm going to tidy up and do the floors so I don't have to clean on my days off, so they can be spent at Haven's pool or the beach or just outside in general.

I am waiting to get my S1 BSG dvds back from Maile so I can start the rewatch. Can't wait for the blu rays to come out at the end of the month! They are going to cost a pretty penny but I don't care, I want them. I miss my show.
helikedmyshoes: (bsg + you are getting beat like a little)
So, I dyed my hair black a few weeks ago. I am finally used to it, and the color has faded a bit so that red highlights are starting to come through. I've gotten lots of compliments and everyone seems to really like it, apparently I look all sultry which I am all for!!

But every time I look in the mirror, I feel like Vanessa from The Little Mermaid (you know, Vanessa is actually Ursula turned human and she's using Ariel's voice to lure poor hapless Prince Eric away and get him to marry her and is all evil and wonderful and should have her own movie). Case in point:



I want to cackle evilly and make someone marry me out of spite.


These are the worst days off I've had in a very long time. I got a brief reprieve Tuesday night when I went to Adam's for blackjack and poker. (I was hoping for some sexy times but no joy - I passed out and he uploaded podcasts to his new website until 5 in the morning. When did we get OLD?) But I came home Wednesday afternoon, after spending an hour at WaMu getting my bank accounts transferred from California to Illinois so I could get my new Chase debit card, to find a bunch of cat vomit all over my apartment and Abby drooling just as Felicia had been. UGH. So off we went back to the vet.

My vet is super sweet and I really like her. Abby didn't have the ulcers on her tongue like Felicia did but she had a fever and the same symptoms so I am to administer the same meds and hope that she gets better. All this was fine and dandy until Felicia decided to scratch one of the vet techs, and since she is not up on her rabies shots, she has to stay at the vet for the next 10 days for observation. I thought my vet was going to cry when she told me, she clearly felt horrible about the whole situation. Felicia just got scared and lashed out and now the poor thing is quarantined for the next 10 days.

And of course Abby doesn't know what to do with herself. She made a mess in her carrier so I had to bathe her when we got home, so I am REALLY not her favorite person right now. She is currently wallowing in her super secret hiding spot in my closet after I pumped her full of drugs and pain meds. It's weird because it feels like there are no cats here at all. This is actually a good time to experiment and see if Abby also pees outside the litter box or if it's only Felicia as I suspect. At least her stay at the vet won't cost me anything, the last three days I have spent over $700 on them. UGH. Do NOT want to think about it. At least I'm getting lots of miles from American Express. Sigh.


So, I haven't watched Caprica yet. I KNOW. I will, and I want to, it's just...it's still so raw. Ack. My BSG love is a bleeding wound that just won't clot no matter how hard Jamie Bamber and his interpretations of the finale (plus the French!!) try. AND my friend Maile has my Season 1 DVDs so I can't even go back and start the rewatch that I so want to do. Thank God the blu rays come out in July, that way I will lend out my DVDs and keep my blu rays for myself.

I miss Starbuck. And Apollo. And Tigh. (Not Dee.)


I can't believe I am actually looking forward to going back to work because the last few days have been so exhausting.


I know I owe you replies from comments made last week. I'm sorry I'm so bad at replying. I suck at emailing too. I would like to work on that, I really would.

I redid my tags, cleaned them up and made them a little more inventive. I think I like them, and I think I'm going to change a few more over. I still have to go back one day and tag the first 3 years of this journal. I always always always miss my anniversary: it's March 31. I made this back in 2002. Weird how much of my life is here, and how much I don't remember from before I started writing in it. I wish I had been better about journalling in high school.


I am thinking about my next tattoo. I am toying with the phrase Know Grace, as a reminder, and a warning. I need to let grace guide my life a little more than I do. Next is placement, and how I want it to look, and if it will be in another language or not.


It's time for bed.
helikedmyshoes: (bsg + k/l + like icarus)
Well I got nothing done today that I wanted because I came home from lunch and laid down because I was tired and I never get to nap because I usually work 12 hour days with no time to go home in between. It was nice, but I had a lot to do around the house because it is pretty much a mess, and none of it got done. Luckily I am off tomorrow and have no plans other than probably being hungover from Blackjack at Adam's tonight, and I can definitely clean with a hangover.

I miss BSG. THIS interview just popped up of Jamie at the Jules Verne Festival and it made my heart hurt even as it soothed it. I love how he sees Lee, and Lee and Kara, and I love hearing him speak so intelligently about the character. Also, the man speaks fluent French. Good lord he is so frakking attractive. Anyway, for those out there still trying to heal, go watch the interview. At the end...he understands. She's his angel. Beautiful. I miss my pilots.

More and more Tori songs are leaking from the new album, and I am getting more excited for it. Give sounds fantastic, very Choirgirl/Venus. Welcome to England has been in my regular rotation. It's getting to be that time where I listen to Scarlet's Walk obsessively for a few weeks. That record always makes me think of spring for some reason, and seems to move through the seasons of summer and end in fall with Gold Dust. Yes, it is definitely time for some Tori taking over my life. I can't wait to see her in concert this summer.

I need to shower. I don't think Felicia is eating and I do not relish trying to feed her with a dropper like the doc showed me. She won't take it. Ugh. Most of the food was gone this morning though so maybe she just isn't hungry right now. She is definitely acting like her normal self a lot more than she was, so that's good. Abby still won't go near her. The two of them are on opposite corners of the bed right now, staring at each other warily. Weird.
helikedmyshoes: (bsg + k/l + porch swing)
I am on my way to the gym, I couldn't sit home anymore and think about and read about BSG anymore. I literally got 3 hours of sleep last night because I couldn't stop thinking about it.

I have read so many people's reactions and I am still conflicted. )

The reason for my bus post is I am sitting in front of a family and the son was telling a story about how he lived in a bad neighborhood and someone stole their porch swing. That's how I feel.

Someone stole my porch swing.
helikedmyshoes: (bsg + end of line)
Maybe I don't wanna go to where you're not, so...

THAT is how I feel about Battlestar ending. Thank you, Tori Amos.


I am tired and sad and can't sleep. Reading other people's reactions, trying to gauge my own...it's got my brain all jumbled. It's funny, I don't think I was this broken up when Buffy ended. I don't know what that says, I had so much more invested in Buffy.

I remember the first time I watched BSG. I was living in LA and hating everything and I got the miniseries on Netflix. It feels like a lifetime ago.
helikedmyshoes: (bsg + k/l + porch swing)
Jesus it's 5:30 in the morning and I should be in bed, but Battlestar Galactica ended tonight and I am wired and my brain hurts.

I loved it, I hated it. I was moved by it, I was left cold. There are so many thoughts swirling around in my head and I just - I have been here before, it seems, when every show ends I am never satisfied, because I am a person who does not do endings, I drag things out forever (see my personal life) and I refuse to let them die and BSG can't just BE OVER, it CAN'T, I am not done with it goddammit. The ending was moving and a copout, it was set up from the beginning and it made no frakking sense. All of them, these people that I love, that I have watched for 4 years now, that can't just be- IT.

I don't know. I don't know. There is never any satisfaction in endings, because NOTHING EVER ENDS, and to pretend otherwise is cheap and not real. But this IS the end, this IS IT, and...I don't know. I just don't know.

Oh show. Why are you over?
helikedmyshoes: (bsg + k/l + porch swing)



I can has more bbPilots now?
helikedmyshoes: (bsg + k/l + stay with me)

This is my first time.

01. Rocky Took a Lover / BellX1
He said "I'll shine for you / I'll burn for you / Yeah, I'll shine for you / that's what I'll do"

02. Your Heart is an Empty Room / Death Cab for Cutie
Burn it down till the embers smoke on the ground / And start new when your heart is an empty room

03. A Rush of Blood to the Head / Coldplay
All the movements you're starting to make / See me crumble and fall on my face / And I know the mistakes that I made / See it all disappear without a trace

04. I Could Stay Away Forever / Snow Patrol
I could stay away forever if I tried / if I tried / if I

05. Bang Bang / Armchair Cynics
So let's make a mess / Tear up these sheets / Every whisper you speak sends shivers through me / Oh I go off like a gun

06. I Hope Your Heart Runs Empty / Neverending White Lights
Of any moment, ever stolen, don't take this one / As my heart runs empty now I realize / What I want would never surface otherwise / I hope your heart runs empty and you realize / Hold on to this hope

07. Pilots / Goldfrapp
It's just the sound of you and me / Time twitching / Murmurs of our friendly machine / We're pilots watching stars

08. Casting Aside / Rouge Traders
Cause I have fallen / From high places / And you don't know the / The way you touch me / I need one moment / To say you love me

09. Pretty Target / Levellers
I won't let you down / No I won't let you down / You're such a pretty target for this world to kick around

10. One More Night / Stars
He starts with her back / Cause that's what he sees / When she's breaking his heart / She still fucks like a tease

11. Combat Baby / Metric
No one here wants to fight me like you do / Combat baby / come back, baby

12. Leave the Pieces / The Wreckers
Don't concern yourself / With this mess you've left for me / I can clean it up, you see / Just as long as you're gone

13. Let's Trade Skins / Great Lake Swimmers
I’m hypnotized by the flicker / and saddened by the ash / And it's complicated with desires and dreams / With stitches and battle scars / pulling apart at the seams

14. Last Year's War / Sarah Slean
You're still bloody from last year's war / Your bandages, your bullet holes like mine / And I'm here with my stars out / You say you're scared / well so am I

15. I'll See Your Heart and I'll Raise You Mine / BellX1
and this time they hold their gaze for too long / Now they're playing poker / and this time it's the angel who says / "I'll see your heart and I'll raise you mine"
helikedmyshoes: (bsg + k/l + start a war)
Is it lame that it's not yet 11 and I am seriously contemplating going to bed? I cleaned the house pretty thoroughly today, the only thing I didn't do was wash my sheets which I will do on Wednesday.

I love my roomba (it is totally a CYLON btw, it has a mind of its own sometimes! Quick, someone get Cavil to lobotomize it) but it won't pick up the cat hair off the hard wood floors (which my entire apartment is. Ugh). It just clumps it together and pushes it around the floor. I think it's because the hair itself is really static-y, and I googled it today and apparently that just happens in the winter when the humidity is so low, and I have noticed that the cats are prone to static when I pet them but I thought that was just from my clothes or something. So, that's annoying, because I let Roomba do its thing, and then I had to get out the dust buster, and THEN I had to sweep. And then mop. And there is still cat hair on the floor. AND my cats are short hair. I can't even imagine how much worse it would be if they weren't.

I have been playing around in Photoshop and it's been a lot of fun! I'm a little rusty, but I'm getting back into the groove. BSG has eaten my brain and I may have been fooling around with some stuff because I am a ridiculous fangirl.

So my computer is doing something weird. Whenever I unplug it, the screen darkens to conserve the battery so I can stay on it longer. Logical, yes? Well, now the screen is darkened when it's plugged in, and brighter when it's not: the opposite of what it should be. I don't know if there's a button that I hit accidentally or what, I tried searching help but it didn't tell me anything. Has anyone else ever had this problem before?

OMG CAN IT BE FRIDAY ALREADY?!?!?! I NEED NEW BATTLESTAR! This week is all about my girl Kara...I just know it's going to be awesome and for the love of the Gaius Christ we had better find out what the frak happened to her in that damn mandala!!!!! Seriously. Someone fast forward the week.

I'm reading Sandman Volume 4 and just loving every single panel. I had Matt order me Volumes 5 and 6 and I refuse to finish 4 until I have them in my hand because I know I am going to want more as soon as it's done. Neil Gaiman OWNS ME. Love him so much.

If I go to bed now, I definitely have to get up tomorrow at 7:30 to go to the gym before work. I am getting so much better about working out! I have gone to the gym 4 times a week and given myself a great workout, at least an hour of cardio, weight training and ab work. I am serious about getting back in shape and losing weight and toning up, and I am excited to go to the gym because I feel so much better after I work out. Even during the CRAMPS OF DOOM I went and did something, and I am going to keep it up and turn it into a lifestyle. 4 days a week. I can do that.

Okay. Bed for real now.
helikedmyshoes: (bsg + end of line)
BSG last night was like Gilmore Girls in space. Omg could they talk any faster and cram any more in? Must rewatch - I really enjoyed it but I feel I missed a lot. I liked how it harkened back to Downloaded in format.
So the Chicago Auto Show starts today, which I imagine is going to be very interesting this year. Like instead of being full of cars, McCormick Place will just have one fold out table in the center of it with a jar marked "donations" resting on top. Should be interesting to see how many people are actually in town for it.

Work is going to be a nightmare. We are booked solid from 4 til 11, on this day we in the biz not so affectionately call Amateur Night. Remember, if you can't afford to tip 20%, you can't afford to eat there. Pray for me.
helikedmyshoes: (bsg + a hard six)


here be spoilers for Sometimes a Great Notion, aka rip my heart out, why don't you, Ron Moore )

OMG did I just fangirl like crazy or what? That hasn't happened since Buffy. Wow.
helikedmyshoes: (bsg + all along the watchtower)
Happy BSG day!!! OMG I am so excited I can't stand it! Work is going to be a blur tonight because all I can think about is getting in a cab and getting home.

I turned on the TV this morning to make sure for the thousandth time that the TiVo was all set, and I caught the very end of Crossroads II where Kara comes back and that awesome effect where we pull back from the fleet and find Earth waiting and it took all I had to get off the couch and get to work.

Ahh I'm so excited!!


Jan. 16th, 2009 02:01 am
helikedmyshoes: (bsg + lee + full of crap)

It was -28 here in Chicago today (with the wind, -7 without it - YES, -7 WAS THE HIGH FOR TODAY), making it only THREE DEGREES warmer than it was at the North Pole. THE NORTH POLE, PEOPLE. I did not sign up to live with Santa, okay? Get out of here, arctic air. I hate you. You made my face freeze the way I suspect botox does, and I couldn't feel my legs for half an hour after I got home.


If anyone needs me, the cats and I will be under the down comforter making sure our toes haven't fallen off yet.

OMGOMGOMG NEW BATTLESTAR IN LESS THAN 24 HOURS. I am going to squee my way through work tomorrow! MY SHOW! I LOVE YOU, SHOW. Never ever leave me.
helikedmyshoes: (bsg + starbuck + wrong way)
I have literally done nothing today except sit on my couch. And it was wonderful. Seriously, I cannot tell you how much I needed this. I have not had two days off in a row since before Thanksgiving and I just needed to veg. Decompress. It was so good. I even don't mind the fact that I have to go back to work tomorrow. Much. I know I had things I should have done with my days off, but really, nothing was pressing and I needed to take this time for myself. I need to do that more. For myself. 2009 is 2000-MINE. Hee!

Monday night Adam and I hung out and had a sleepover, and Tuesday Beth, Ambrose and Jermaine came over and we watched Battlestar Galactica 4.0 and drank a lot of wine. I am watching Revelations right now and it is gutting me now just as it gutted me then. I am excited to see the journey end the way it's supposed to but I will miss it so when it's gone.

I also spoiled myself for the final Cylon. I'd spoiled myself for the Final Four too because I didn't watch the Season 3 finale until the show as out on DVD. I was going to go in completely unspoiled, and I will still be unspoiled for the rest of the show, especially the finale. But honestly, I never really cared about who the last one was, I just knew it would be interesting to see it unfold. It's what the final Cylon has to say and what answers we will get from it that I can't wait for. We'll see how it goes. One and a half more days!!!! OMG Work is going to be TORTURE on Friday.

I think I'm going to go read more Sandman and pass out. Back to the real world tomorrow.
helikedmyshoes: (bsg + starbuck + triangular)

Actually, it is. I got up early so I could get right to Best Buy when they opened at 10 (convenient that I live right down the street from one, no?) and got myself the OMG SO SPECIAL version of Battlestar Galactica Season 4.0, complete with Starbuck dogtags and a color book that fudges some of the facts but I still love it because it has pretty pictures of my favorite cast.

10 MORE DAYS ZOMG. I am going to stay spoiler free even if it kills me. This is too special to spoil. SRSLY. My friends and I are having a Catch the Frak Up! party of our own next week where we will watch Season 4 in its entirety to get ready for the premiere. We are going to do make cocktails and order Leona's and Beth is going to wear an eyepatch and don't think I won't break out my Starbuck dogtags. You wish you were as cool as us.

This whole LJ thing is really freaking me out. I backed up my journal using LJArchive, but NOTHING can happen to this place. I hate having to go to everyone's individual blogs. Seriously, if all the members got together, you know we could raise enough money to buy this thing and keep it alive. Let's get on it, huh? I HEART MY LJ. Please don't take it away from me.

Oh, and hopefully I got my TiVo fixed. Apparently now that TV went digital, you can only record using one tuner? Is everyone else having to deal with this? SUCKS. Oh well. I don't think anything is on at the same time. Wait, what time will Friday Night Lights and Dollhouse be on? That could be a problem. Frak.

Off to make sure my TiVo IS actually fixed, then shower and dress for work. UGH. Adam and I are going out tonight because it is my only night off and don't think I'm not going to get good and drunk. I have earned it. Please let me make $100 tonight. PLEASE.

My cast is so pretty!


helikedmyshoes: (Default)

April 2011

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