helikedmyshoes

One of the things I love most about Starbuck is she always keeps pushing and pushing, doing things to screw up and then turning to the people who are closest to her and saying, "do you love me now?" She just keeps waiting to find that trigger that will make everyone finally turn away from her.

It's a taunt, "I bet you don't love me after that," over and over, and I love that at the end she is still loved, and that she finally understands. I get the guilt after Zak, and how she felt she didn't deserve love. I just love that there was that little girl inside her who finally got to heal.

I miss her.

I woke up on Thursday with an enormous cold sore on my lip. Yuck.

I heart this icon so, so much.

Jesus it's 5:30 in the morning and I should be in bed, but Battlestar Galactica ended tonight and I am wired and my brain hurts.

I loved it, I hated it. I was moved by it, I was left cold. There are so many thoughts swirling around in my head and I just - I have been here before, it seems, when every show ends I am never satisfied, because I am a person who does not do endings, I drag things out forever (see my personal life) and I refuse to let them die and BSG can't just BE OVER, it CAN'T, I am not done with it goddammit. The ending was moving and a copout, it was set up from the beginning and it made no frakking sense. All of them, these people that I love, that I have watched for 4 years now, that can't just be- IT.

I don't know. I don't know. There is never any satisfaction in endings, because NOTHING EVER ENDS, and to pretend otherwise is cheap and not real. But this IS the end, this IS IT, and...I don't know. I just don't know.

Oh show. Why are you over?

Is it lame that it's not yet 11 and I am seriously contemplating going to bed? I cleaned the house pretty thoroughly today, the only thing I didn't do was wash my sheets which I will do on Wednesday.

I love my roomba (it is totally a CYLON btw, it has a mind of its own sometimes! Quick, someone get Cavil to lobotomize it) but it won't pick up the cat hair off the hard wood floors (which my entire apartment is. Ugh). It just clumps it together and pushes it around the floor. I think it's because the hair itself is really static-y, and I googled it today and apparently that just happens in the winter when the humidity is so low, and I have noticed that the cats are prone to static when I pet them but I thought that was just from my clothes or something. So, that's annoying, because I let Roomba do its thing, and then I had to get out the dust buster, and THEN I had to sweep. And then mop. And there is still cat hair on the floor. AND my cats are short hair. I can't even imagine how much worse it would be if they weren't.

I have been playing around in Photoshop and it's been a lot of fun! I'm a little rusty, but I'm getting back into the groove. BSG has eaten my brain and I may have been fooling around with some stuff because I am a ridiculous fangirl.

So my computer is doing something weird. Whenever I unplug it, the screen darkens to conserve the battery so I can stay on it longer. Logical, yes? Well, now the screen is darkened when it's plugged in, and brighter when it's not: the opposite of what it should be. I don't know if there's a button that I hit accidentally or what, I tried searching help but it didn't tell me anything. Has anyone else ever had this problem before?

OMG CAN IT BE FRIDAY ALREADY?!?!?! I NEED NEW BATTLESTAR! This week is all about my girl Kara...I just know it's going to be awesome and for the love of the Gaius Christ we had better find out what the frak happened to her in that damn mandala!!!!! Seriously. Someone fast forward the week.

I'm reading Sandman Volume 4 and just loving every single panel. I had Matt order me Volumes 5 and 6 and I refuse to finish 4 until I have them in my hand because I know I am going to want more as soon as it's done. Neil Gaiman OWNS ME. Love him so much.

If I go to bed now, I definitely have to get up tomorrow at 7:30 to go to the gym before work. I am getting so much better about working out! I have gone to the gym 4 times a week and given myself a great workout, at least an hour of cardio, weight training and ab work. I am serious about getting back in shape and losing weight and toning up, and I am excited to go to the gym because I feel so much better after I work out. Even during the CRAMPS OF DOOM I went and did something, and I am going to keep it up and turn it into a lifestyle. 4 days a week. I can do that.

Okay. Bed for real now.

Molly came over last night, and we watched the Battlestar Galactica miniseries and ate pizza and decided they should make a show called Battle Creek for all the melodrama that goes on on BSG and the tagline could be "Love is a Battlestar."

Just think what would've happened if we'd been drinking Rories.