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the life that you thought through is gone
May. 16th, 2008 03:46 pmI am incredibly emotional today. Maybe because I fucking cried again last night. I am sick to death of this weepy sad mopey bullshit.
I don't know why this feels different from all the other times there was someone else in the picture. But it does. I literally cannot think of anything else and I am so raw and crazy and exhausted and my back is so tense that Jerry came over to massage it last night and I cried out in pain because I was so tense. I just want to leave my brain for a while. It must be really nice to not have feelings.
I get a 45 minute break during a 14 hour day. I will not cry at work I will not cry at work I will not cry at work.
I don't know why this feels different from all the other times there was someone else in the picture. But it does. I literally cannot think of anything else and I am so raw and crazy and exhausted and my back is so tense that Jerry came over to massage it last night and I cried out in pain because I was so tense. I just want to leave my brain for a while. It must be really nice to not have feelings.
I get a 45 minute break during a 14 hour day. I will not cry at work I will not cry at work I will not cry at work.
nowhere is far enough away
May. 10th, 2008 04:56 pmWork sucks. I wanted to make $300 today. I don't think that's going to happen. Don't people know I have shiny things I want to buy?
Maybe we just need to not see each other for a while, and only talk on the phone like once a week. I don't know. I'm tired.
Maybe we just need to not see each other for a while, and only talk on the phone like once a week. I don't know. I'm tired.
(no subject)
Mar. 28th, 2008 04:00 pmMan, I would really be okay with being on my couch right now watching BSG. I am rewatching it from the beginning and have made it through the miniseries and the first 4 eps of season 1 so far. I haven't seen season 1 since I watched it for the first time when I lived in LA. It is very exciting.
Pilots!
Hiding from life and love and moving and change in a tv show? Me?)
Guess I should go sell some people some chicken.
Pilots!
Hiding from life and love and moving and change in a tv show? Me?)
Guess I should go sell some people some chicken.
the velvets when you're coming down
Dec. 24th, 2007 12:40 amI have programed all my numbers into my phone that I was able to get my hands on. Still don't really know how to work it, but I know we're going to be great friends.
I have to be up in about 4 and a half hours to get on the train to get to Midway to get on a plane to go home. I'm exhausted just thinking about it.
Work tonight - I almost walked out. Julia is a cunt.
I will be home in 12 hours! (Weather permitting.)
I should be cleaning. I think I'm packed.
Adam bought me Pirates of the Caribbean 3: At Worlds End on DVD for Christmas. I know how unhappy that made him (he is not a fan). It is beautiful and I am going to love it forever and ever. He also got me Black Books: The Complete Series and a picture of Darth Vader that will go next to my Revenge of the Jedi picture. I love presents!
So this is Christmas...
I have to be up in about 4 and a half hours to get on the train to get to Midway to get on a plane to go home. I'm exhausted just thinking about it.
Work tonight - I almost walked out. Julia is a cunt.
I will be home in 12 hours! (Weather permitting.)
I should be cleaning. I think I'm packed.
Adam bought me Pirates of the Caribbean 3: At Worlds End on DVD for Christmas. I know how unhappy that made him (he is not a fan). It is beautiful and I am going to love it forever and ever. He also got me Black Books: The Complete Series and a picture of Darth Vader that will go next to my Revenge of the Jedi picture. I love presents!
So this is Christmas...
I suck. My head is fucking killing me.
You win, Today. Okay? YOU WIN.
(Please notice that it is not only a gaping wound, but an enormous bump as well. Work is going to be so fun tomorrow.)
Umm...I'm not really sure why I'm still awake.
I worked from 11am to 1am today and I have to be back at work at 9am for a meeting and then I work from 11am to midnight at least.
Yeah. Think it's time for bed. My whole body ACHES.
Hey. Counting Crows fans. New myspace page for what I presume is their new album. New song too, which I like! http://www.myspace.com/saturdaynightssundaymornings It's been way too long since we've had a new CC album. Bring it on, boys. I've missed you so.
I worked from 11am to 1am today and I have to be back at work at 9am for a meeting and then I work from 11am to midnight at least.
Yeah. Think it's time for bed. My whole body ACHES.
Hey. Counting Crows fans. New myspace page for what I presume is their new album. New song too, which I like! http://www.myspace.com/saturdaynightssundaymornings It's been way too long since we've had a new CC album. Bring it on, boys. I've missed you so.
give nothing back.
Jun. 14th, 2007 08:55 amThere are some days when life knocks you down and then takes out the baseball bat and starts swinging.
Yesterday was one of those days.
Besides the HOTEL and its various indiscretions, I got to work to find out one of my coworkers had passed away on Tuesday. I had just worked with him Monday and everything had been fine, but Tuesday he became unresponsive and then passed away sometime in the afternoon. There is speculation as to what happened (blood clot, drugs) but we won't know anything until they do an autopsy. His name was Ryan Gardner. He was 26 years old. He was a wonderful, funny, sweet guy, and will be missed terribly.
So work yesterday, as you can imagine, was not fun. We were all just kind of walking around in a fog because really, how can one care about burgers and chicken when one of our own DIED. Simply, you don't. At all. But we made it through, and I was all set for an afternoon off of going to the movies and then drinking with Anna and Julia. But Jess got sick, and I was the only person who could cover her shift. So I worked and made no money (really, that pales in comparison to death considerably, but it still sucked) and was cranky and bitchy and got an elbow in the eye for my troubles.
But then I got home and there was white wine waiting and Anna and Julia cheered me up. The day was one big circle, starting and ending with key lime pie.
Yesterday was one of those days.
Besides the HOTEL and its various indiscretions, I got to work to find out one of my coworkers had passed away on Tuesday. I had just worked with him Monday and everything had been fine, but Tuesday he became unresponsive and then passed away sometime in the afternoon. There is speculation as to what happened (blood clot, drugs) but we won't know anything until they do an autopsy. His name was Ryan Gardner. He was 26 years old. He was a wonderful, funny, sweet guy, and will be missed terribly.
So work yesterday, as you can imagine, was not fun. We were all just kind of walking around in a fog because really, how can one care about burgers and chicken when one of our own DIED. Simply, you don't. At all. But we made it through, and I was all set for an afternoon off of going to the movies and then drinking with Anna and Julia. But Jess got sick, and I was the only person who could cover her shift. So I worked and made no money (really, that pales in comparison to death considerably, but it still sucked) and was cranky and bitchy and got an elbow in the eye for my troubles.
But then I got home and there was white wine waiting and Anna and Julia cheered me up. The day was one big circle, starting and ending with key lime pie.
(no subject)
Jun. 13th, 2007 01:18 amI had THE BEST table at work tonight. And, you guys, I really needed it. Work has been horrible lately, slow and full of corporate bullshit that I don't in the least care about.
But I had a party of 8 seated at 2 different tables, and they were out to have a good time and made me laugh and introduced themselves as the Brothers Smith, makers of cough drops, which is a great way to start out, and then kept going. They had me going between the two, telling jokes to get the other table riled up, and started actually paying me $20 a pop to do it! It was awesome. Fluffernutter sandwiches, asking about someone's "scorching hotness," bringing a bowl of whipped cream and cherries over and saying it was for the limo ride home. I was obviously not in on any of the jokes but I had a great time all the same. I haven't laughed like that in a long, long time. I really needed it.
And I also really needed the $160 I made off them.
Captain Turner wishes you all sweet dreams.
But I had a party of 8 seated at 2 different tables, and they were out to have a good time and made me laugh and introduced themselves as the Brothers Smith, makers of cough drops, which is a great way to start out, and then kept going. They had me going between the two, telling jokes to get the other table riled up, and started actually paying me $20 a pop to do it! It was awesome. Fluffernutter sandwiches, asking about someone's "scorching hotness," bringing a bowl of whipped cream and cherries over and saying it was for the limo ride home. I was obviously not in on any of the jokes but I had a great time all the same. I haven't laughed like that in a long, long time. I really needed it.
And I also really needed the $160 I made off them.
Captain Turner wishes you all sweet dreams.
This has been a horrible work week, so slow. I'm on a double and got cut at 2 because it was so dead, so I'm sitting next to Chicago River on Michigan Ave talking to old friends and reading and daydreaming and the sun is shining and the breeze is cooling and it's a good day even though I'm not making any money. My back is better and my head is filled with pirates and half-sided conversations and stories. I am going on a road trip in two days and my destination is full of people who I love and miss.
It's a good day.
It's a good day.
(no subject)
May. 20th, 2007 02:23 amZOMG SO TIRED.
Look how pretty Buffy and Angel are.
I got in half an hour ago, and I need to leave in 7 and a half hours to go back to work. Long days, longer nights. Tomorrow night I'm either going to drink myself silly or pass out.
Look how pretty Buffy and Angel are.
I got in half an hour ago, and I need to leave in 7 and a half hours to go back to work. Long days, longer nights. Tomorrow night I'm either going to drink myself silly or pass out.
(no subject)
Feb. 25th, 2007 12:37 amHi. Remember when I was a person?
I just got off my 5th double.
I smell horribly.
I was only supposed to work lunch today but there was an open shift for tonight and the GM asked me to work. I think being asked after only 3 weeks to work both a Friday and Saturday night is pretty good, how could I say no? I made good money, can't complain. I'm just exhausted. And stinky. And not amused by the ice storm going on outside.
I'm going to bed.
Anything exciting happen around here lately?
I just got off my 5th double.
I smell horribly.
I was only supposed to work lunch today but there was an open shift for tonight and the GM asked me to work. I think being asked after only 3 weeks to work both a Friday and Saturday night is pretty good, how could I say no? I made good money, can't complain. I'm just exhausted. And stinky. And not amused by the ice storm going on outside.
I'm going to bed.
Anything exciting happen around here lately?
(no subject)
Feb. 22nd, 2007 10:04 amLast night I shared a train home with a homeless man who started jerking himself off a few minutes after my coworkers and I got on. I thought he was just scratching an itch at first, but it turned out to be a different kind of itch altogether.
New Tori album out May 1st!!!! Awesome.
This is my last of three doubles in a row. Pray I make money tonight.
New Tori album out May 1st!!!! Awesome.
This is my last of three doubles in a row. Pray I make money tonight.
(no subject)
Feb. 16th, 2007 10:51 amI have two words for you: Ghost. Rider.
Hell yeah.
Also. I was unimpressed by Grey's last night, but I did like the musical selections. Anyone able to point me in a direction where I'll be able to find out what they are and perhaps even download them?
It's sunny and clear and cold here in Chicago. I'm on the train on my way to being late for work. Oops. I watched the sun coming up over the frozen lake today. Winter is beautiful in its brutalness.
Hell yeah.
Also. I was unimpressed by Grey's last night, but I did like the musical selections. Anyone able to point me in a direction where I'll be able to find out what they are and perhaps even download them?
It's sunny and clear and cold here in Chicago. I'm on the train on my way to being late for work. Oops. I watched the sun coming up over the frozen lake today. Winter is beautiful in its brutalness.
my heart was going boomboomboom
Feb. 6th, 2007 01:53 pmA quick update, with more to come later.
+ I passed all my tests last Thursday at Bandera, waited on the GM, did a great job, and finished my training. We worked out my schedule, right now I will be working Monday, Wednesday, Friday and Sunday lunches with the ability to pick up weekend night shifts once they feel I can handle it. I had my first shift yesterday. I had three tables and walked with $18. This is what happens when it is -25 outside.
+ My friends came in to town for the weekend and we had a blast and I did not want them to leave. Barrington, the Oak, karaoke at Trader Todd's, the Art Institute, the cold, the drinking. I miss them all terribly.
+ It's been below 0 here for days and days. People are not meant to live in this kind of cold. I have stayed in the house as much as possible, thank god for free heat.
+ Adam and I finally got caught up on House, and started watching The Job. It is Rescue Me as a half hour police show. Denis Leary is wonderful and all these familiar faces keep popping up, like Hilary from Fresh Prince, the first mom from Fresh Prince, and Jen's grandmother from Dawson's Creek aka Mary Beth Peil. We got through 5 episodes last night. One good thing about the cold is all the time to watch shows I never got a chance to.
+ I need to eat something.
+ Things feel different, but maybe it's me who is finally changing.
+ Was there new BSG on Sunday?
+ We had some people over for the Super Bowl and had a lot of fun even though the Bears lost. Things were a bit hairy around 4 when we realized the game was on CBS, the only channel we don't get, so we had to run to CVS and buy an antenna. Crisis was easily averted. I started drinking wine during the preshow and didn't even pay attention to things after Prince played. Anna and I played Trouble which was TROUBLE with only the two of us, we had pizza and laughs and fun all around.
+ FOOOOOD.
+ I passed all my tests last Thursday at Bandera, waited on the GM, did a great job, and finished my training. We worked out my schedule, right now I will be working Monday, Wednesday, Friday and Sunday lunches with the ability to pick up weekend night shifts once they feel I can handle it. I had my first shift yesterday. I had three tables and walked with $18. This is what happens when it is -25 outside.
+ My friends came in to town for the weekend and we had a blast and I did not want them to leave. Barrington, the Oak, karaoke at Trader Todd's, the Art Institute, the cold, the drinking. I miss them all terribly.
+ It's been below 0 here for days and days. People are not meant to live in this kind of cold. I have stayed in the house as much as possible, thank god for free heat.
+ Adam and I finally got caught up on House, and started watching The Job. It is Rescue Me as a half hour police show. Denis Leary is wonderful and all these familiar faces keep popping up, like Hilary from Fresh Prince, the first mom from Fresh Prince, and Jen's grandmother from Dawson's Creek aka Mary Beth Peil. We got through 5 episodes last night. One good thing about the cold is all the time to watch shows I never got a chance to.
+ I need to eat something.
+ Things feel different, but maybe it's me who is finally changing.
+ Was there new BSG on Sunday?
+ We had some people over for the Super Bowl and had a lot of fun even though the Bears lost. Things were a bit hairy around 4 when we realized the game was on CBS, the only channel we don't get, so we had to run to CVS and buy an antenna. Crisis was easily averted. I started drinking wine during the preshow and didn't even pay attention to things after Prince played. Anna and I played Trouble which was TROUBLE with only the two of us, we had pizza and laughs and fun all around.
+ FOOOOOD.
(no subject)
Jan. 31st, 2007 11:09 pmI have ONE MORE test to study for for tomorrow at Bandera, and I just can't make myself pick up the binder and do it. It's the artwork test, just like Art History except this is only the name of the piece and the artist. I can do this, it won't be hard, I just don't want to. Procrastination at its finest.
I'm tired. I need to do this and get some sleep, since my boys are coming tomorrow and drinking and debauchery will surely ensue.
I'm tired. I need to do this and get some sleep, since my boys are coming tomorrow and drinking and debauchery will surely ensue.
baby, it's been a long time waiting.
Jan. 29th, 2007 01:22 pmI always think of things to put in memes like this at random times and then can never remember what they are. I don't know what's sadder - that my memory sucks or that I even think about memes at all.
The lovely![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
_venus_ tagged me.
Post to your journal with 10 weird things/habits/little known facts about yourself. Those who get tagged need to blog your own journal with those 10 weird things/habits/little known facts. Then chose 6 people to be tagged and list their LJ names. No tag backs...
1. My two big toes are different. My right toe is my dad's and my left toe is my mom's. I don't remember the first time I noticed but it always amuses me that obviously my DNA couldn't decide which was better and gave me one of each.
2. Sometimes I wish I was a musician because I FEEL music so deeply. The basis on which I judge most music is how much it moved me, not how good I think it is. Whenever I hear it there's a corner of my brain that just goes into dancer mode and moves to the beat and then I realize how much I miss dancing.
3. I miss a lot of the things I used to do when I was a kid: horseback riding, dancing, tennis, karate, skiing. I always just took them for granted because my parents always just gave them to me, sometimes without me even wanting them but being happy that they were there, which is why I think now that I just expect people to give me things, especially the things that I want.
4. I want to get married, but not until I'm at least 30. Different people have told me they figured I was one of those people who never wanted to get married, which is surprising because it's something I've always seen myself doing. At first I was kind of hurt when they said it because I don't think I've ever said anything to give reason to believe I don't believe in marriage, but I guess it never really came up in conversation, and maybe my not being interested in dating fueled that fire. I also believe that marriage can be what you make it, that people can have their own beliefs on what it is and should be, and that it is YOURS and no one else's. Also, I want a really big engagement ring.
5. I have no problem writing conversations and fights between characters, but when it comes to arguing with actual people I always freeze up and never know what I want to say until days later when I've replayed the conversation over in my mind. I don't know why this is; I don't know why I can't identify what I'm feeling when I'm feeling it and articulate that to the person I'm fighting with.
6. I don't think I believe in God, at least not the god of organized religion. My religion is balance. Bad things happen, good things happen, and neither one can go on for too long without the other coming in to either ease or increase the pain. You take what comes and always remember that it can always get worse, and that it will get better.
7. I am an incredibly jealous person and I don't like sharing.
8. I like having sex with girls but I could never date one. I don't know if that makes me bisexual or just a greedy bitch.
9. I loveloveLOVE when a movie or a show I see touches me so deeply that I can't stop thinking about it for months afterwards. Star Wars, Moulin Rouge, Buffy. I love STORIES, and sometimes I love the cliched ones most of all.
10. Usually the first thing I notice on a person after their face is whether they're wearing a wedding ring or not. I don't know WHY, but it's been that way for years.
Tagging whoever feels like sharing.
+
Adam watched the S1 finale of VM last night with me. He was not impressed. I told him it all just goes downhill from there anyway.
Bandera called yesterday and asked if they could move my last day of training to Thursday instead of today. Apparently a bunch of people are out of town so I wouldn't have a trainer, and all the shifts are covered for the week anyway so they won't even need me til at least the weekend. I told her I have friends coming into town on Thursday and she said I could just start Monday then. Assuming I pass my last tests and waiting on the GM, that is. But that means I can hang with the boys and Chelsea a lot AND we can hopefully throw our Super Bowl party on Sunday.
I really need to start making money. It's been 5 months since I've worked full time. I like being a bum but I look forward to getting into a routine and getting that adrenaline surge from working once more. Plus I really want to go shopping.
I'm still gathering my thoughts, there are things that have been going down lately that I don't really know what to make of. I'm kind of just standing back and observing for now, trying to stay out of the line of fire even though I feel like I'm right in the middle and maybe even the cause for a bunch of them. I wish I could say I felt bad about it. I don't.
Getting laid would be REALLY nice.
I feel like there is something I have not said, but I can't for the life of me think of what it is. I'm going to the gym now, then to sit in Borders and study, then perhaps Adam and I are getting dinner and perhaps I am going to his show. Maybe I'll call Anna and see if she wants to grab a drink later.
OH HEY. Can someone hook me up with John Mayer's song Gravity? We watched House 3.02 the other night and it was playing at the end and now I can't get it out of my head. There's another gravity song that is in rotation with that one, by Embrace.
Maybe that's what's been weighing me down so much lately.
The lovely
_venus_ tagged me.Post to your journal with 10 weird things/habits/little known facts about yourself. Those who get tagged need to blog your own journal with those 10 weird things/habits/little known facts. Then chose 6 people to be tagged and list their LJ names. No tag backs...
1. My two big toes are different. My right toe is my dad's and my left toe is my mom's. I don't remember the first time I noticed but it always amuses me that obviously my DNA couldn't decide which was better and gave me one of each.
2. Sometimes I wish I was a musician because I FEEL music so deeply. The basis on which I judge most music is how much it moved me, not how good I think it is. Whenever I hear it there's a corner of my brain that just goes into dancer mode and moves to the beat and then I realize how much I miss dancing.
3. I miss a lot of the things I used to do when I was a kid: horseback riding, dancing, tennis, karate, skiing. I always just took them for granted because my parents always just gave them to me, sometimes without me even wanting them but being happy that they were there, which is why I think now that I just expect people to give me things, especially the things that I want.
4. I want to get married, but not until I'm at least 30. Different people have told me they figured I was one of those people who never wanted to get married, which is surprising because it's something I've always seen myself doing. At first I was kind of hurt when they said it because I don't think I've ever said anything to give reason to believe I don't believe in marriage, but I guess it never really came up in conversation, and maybe my not being interested in dating fueled that fire. I also believe that marriage can be what you make it, that people can have their own beliefs on what it is and should be, and that it is YOURS and no one else's. Also, I want a really big engagement ring.
5. I have no problem writing conversations and fights between characters, but when it comes to arguing with actual people I always freeze up and never know what I want to say until days later when I've replayed the conversation over in my mind. I don't know why this is; I don't know why I can't identify what I'm feeling when I'm feeling it and articulate that to the person I'm fighting with.
6. I don't think I believe in God, at least not the god of organized religion. My religion is balance. Bad things happen, good things happen, and neither one can go on for too long without the other coming in to either ease or increase the pain. You take what comes and always remember that it can always get worse, and that it will get better.
7. I am an incredibly jealous person and I don't like sharing.
8. I like having sex with girls but I could never date one. I don't know if that makes me bisexual or just a greedy bitch.
9. I loveloveLOVE when a movie or a show I see touches me so deeply that I can't stop thinking about it for months afterwards. Star Wars, Moulin Rouge, Buffy. I love STORIES, and sometimes I love the cliched ones most of all.
10. Usually the first thing I notice on a person after their face is whether they're wearing a wedding ring or not. I don't know WHY, but it's been that way for years.
Tagging whoever feels like sharing.
+
Adam watched the S1 finale of VM last night with me. He was not impressed. I told him it all just goes downhill from there anyway.
Bandera called yesterday and asked if they could move my last day of training to Thursday instead of today. Apparently a bunch of people are out of town so I wouldn't have a trainer, and all the shifts are covered for the week anyway so they won't even need me til at least the weekend. I told her I have friends coming into town on Thursday and she said I could just start Monday then. Assuming I pass my last tests and waiting on the GM, that is. But that means I can hang with the boys and Chelsea a lot AND we can hopefully throw our Super Bowl party on Sunday.
I really need to start making money. It's been 5 months since I've worked full time. I like being a bum but I look forward to getting into a routine and getting that adrenaline surge from working once more. Plus I really want to go shopping.
I'm still gathering my thoughts, there are things that have been going down lately that I don't really know what to make of. I'm kind of just standing back and observing for now, trying to stay out of the line of fire even though I feel like I'm right in the middle and maybe even the cause for a bunch of them. I wish I could say I felt bad about it. I don't.
Getting laid would be REALLY nice.
I feel like there is something I have not said, but I can't for the life of me think of what it is. I'm going to the gym now, then to sit in Borders and study, then perhaps Adam and I are getting dinner and perhaps I am going to his show. Maybe I'll call Anna and see if she wants to grab a drink later.
OH HEY. Can someone hook me up with John Mayer's song Gravity? We watched House 3.02 the other night and it was playing at the end and now I can't get it out of my head. There's another gravity song that is in rotation with that one, by Embrace.
Maybe that's what's been weighing me down so much lately.
I have not been outside all day.
The snow that is falling right now looks more like volcano ash. It is big and fat and lazy on the breeze.
edit: I just went outside to throw out the garbage, and the snow seems to be hanging suspended in the air before it starts moving back up into the sky. Yes, the snow is going the opposite way it normally does. And there's no wind to speak of. Weird. (I am just obsessed with snow lately, aren't I? What gives?)
My head is so full of food and wine I think it might explode.
TEAM LOGAN. (I'm just practicing.)
I miss Tori. I haven't been spending as much time with her as usual. Maybe that's why I feel weird.
Adam and I have started watching Heroes. We're only 1 and a half episodes in (we fell asleep halfway through 1.02) but already I am loving it. I don't want to killJessMilo Ventimiglia, which a strange new feeling. Even though he did beat out my friend Louis for the part of Rocky's son in Rocky Balboa. It has sucked me right in, I'm in for the ride with this one. Friday Night Lights is next, after we get caught up on House S3, though Adam has already informed me he wants no part in FNL because he is lame.
I really need TiVo.
Sometims I really need to be an adult about things. I think this is one of those times. (<-- not about TEAM LOGAN. which must be in caps. about life stuff concerning other people and other feelings.)
i knew you pigtails and all
girls when they
fall
The snow that is falling right now looks more like volcano ash. It is big and fat and lazy on the breeze.
edit: I just went outside to throw out the garbage, and the snow seems to be hanging suspended in the air before it starts moving back up into the sky. Yes, the snow is going the opposite way it normally does. And there's no wind to speak of. Weird. (I am just obsessed with snow lately, aren't I? What gives?)
My head is so full of food and wine I think it might explode.
TEAM LOGAN. (I'm just practicing.)
I miss Tori. I haven't been spending as much time with her as usual. Maybe that's why I feel weird.
Adam and I have started watching Heroes. We're only 1 and a half episodes in (we fell asleep halfway through 1.02) but already I am loving it. I don't want to kill
I really need TiVo.
Sometims I really need to be an adult about things. I think this is one of those times. (<-- not about TEAM LOGAN. which must be in caps. about life stuff concerning other people and other feelings.)
i knew you pigtails and all
girls when they
fall
too cool to care
Jan. 24th, 2007 09:54 amWork is going well, but is very challenging. There are about a million things to know and remember and do all at the same time. I'm just trying to get the menu down! I finished my second day yesterday, I have four more to go, and I feel pretty confident that I'll be able to do my job and do it pretty well by the time I'm officially on the floor. Today I will spend the day studying, I REALLY need to get the menu down.
Monday night, after Adam's show, Anna and Julia came back with us and Anna and Adam played Edward 40-Hands and I drank a bottle of champagne and Julia concocted Mud Slides. It was nice and chill and fun, and then Morgan and her boyfriend and friend showed up and we played beer pong, during which I had the BEST SHOT EVER! I threw the ball and it spun around the rim of one of the cups and then went out and landed in the little crevice created by three cups when they're pressed together. That knocks out those three cups at once.cuttooth7 is the only person I've known to do this - it was pretty awesome.
Julia walked home, Adam and Anna had a long talk in the stairwell, and I entertained the rest by talked about how awesome Jenna Jameson is. Everyone cleared out around 1, which was perfect because I got a decent amount of sleep before work the next day. I tried to be all sexy but I just passed out. No sex for Serena that night. Oh well.
I am eating graham crackers and they are delicious.
I did not hate last night's VM as much as I thought, I just don't think it was very GOOD. It was comeptent but it seems like there's no heart anymore, there's no real reason to care.
Time to study.
Monday night, after Adam's show, Anna and Julia came back with us and Anna and Adam played Edward 40-Hands and I drank a bottle of champagne and Julia concocted Mud Slides. It was nice and chill and fun, and then Morgan and her boyfriend and friend showed up and we played beer pong, during which I had the BEST SHOT EVER! I threw the ball and it spun around the rim of one of the cups and then went out and landed in the little crevice created by three cups when they're pressed together. That knocks out those three cups at once.
cuttooth7 is the only person I've known to do this - it was pretty awesome.Julia walked home, Adam and Anna had a long talk in the stairwell, and I entertained the rest by talked about how awesome Jenna Jameson is. Everyone cleared out around 1, which was perfect because I got a decent amount of sleep before work the next day. I tried to be all sexy but I just passed out. No sex for Serena that night. Oh well.
I am eating graham crackers and they are delicious.
I did not hate last night's VM as much as I thought, I just don't think it was very GOOD. It was comeptent but it seems like there's no heart anymore, there's no real reason to care.
Time to study.
i know i have been driven like the snow
Jan. 21st, 2007 07:43 pmThe snow tonight is like the kind in fairytales. It feels magical.
Adam and I saw Pan's Labyrinth yesterday. Fantastic. I highly recommend it. It was devastating and uplifting, rocking betwen war and imagination, a beautiful, haunting film that was stunning and horrifying yet soothing. They are marketing it as an adult fairytale, which obviously cannot be as wholesome and sweet as a children's fairytale - the gore was all the more awful because it has no place in my perception of a fairytale. But all fairytales are about hope and bravery, and this certainly has its share. Go see it. It's incredible.
I met up with_venus_ and her friend Keri for lunch today. Jessie and I finally met after meeting 7 years ago online. It's strange, all of you people who know me so intimately that I have never ever met. A lot of times that makes it easier to confess, because you are real but really only on paper because I don't know how your laughter sounds or even what you sound like when you speak or how tall you are when you stand next to me or what it's like to give you a hug involving arms and torsos and not 0s and 1s. But I know a lot of secrets, a lot of fears, a lot of hopes. I dare say I know you all better than most of my friends - I am proud to say it.
Anyway. Tangent. I met them downtown and we went to Miller's Pub for lunch, which was packed with Bears and Saints fans when we arrived but quickly thinned out. Jessie is adorable and crazy for wearing heels in Chicago in the middle of the winter.ashley, she took a picture for you but I don't know how well it came out, hopefully I look like my hot self in it. ;)
I had the Bears/Saints game on while I studied, and I couldn't help but root for the Bears even though I hate football. I got caught up in the excitement of it all, I guess, I couldn't help hoping that the Bears would win, being the home team and all that. A part of me wanted the Saints to win, to bounce back after Hurricane Katrina and a 3-13 record and go to the Super Bowl the very next year, but I think making it to the championship game was not too shabby either. Adam and I talked about having a Super Bowl party, given the enormous TV and all. It will be different than other years, cheering for a team that I am constantly surrounded by support for. I still don't care, but that doesn't mean I can't enjoy myself.
I am in the midst of studying my 140 page binder for my upcoming training week at Bandera. I have two tests every day of my training (there are 6 days), tests on the seating chart, the computer abbreivations, the appetizers, the soups, the sides, the entrees, the desserts, the liquor, the red wine, the white wine, the artwork on the walls and then I get to serve the GM and take a final written and verbal test.
I understand the need for such thoroughness, especially considering how much they pride their service and how big a part of the dining experience is it. Still, can we say overkill? None of the ingredients are listed on the menu, so I need to know EVERYTHING in case of food allergies or just for general questions, and each dish has between 6 to 12 ingredients. And there are about 40 dishes. THAT IS A LOT OF FOOD IN MY BRAIN. Plus the wines, plus the ARTWORK (wtf?). Yikes. No playing for Serena this week.
And now I am going to get back to work. I feel like I'm at Purchase again, though with less distractions. And by distractions, I mean blowing off work to drink with the boys. Sigh. Miss you. See some of you in two weeks!
Adam and I saw Pan's Labyrinth yesterday. Fantastic. I highly recommend it. It was devastating and uplifting, rocking betwen war and imagination, a beautiful, haunting film that was stunning and horrifying yet soothing. They are marketing it as an adult fairytale, which obviously cannot be as wholesome and sweet as a children's fairytale - the gore was all the more awful because it has no place in my perception of a fairytale. But all fairytales are about hope and bravery, and this certainly has its share. Go see it. It's incredible.
I met up with
_venus_ and her friend Keri for lunch today. Jessie and I finally met after meeting 7 years ago online. It's strange, all of you people who know me so intimately that I have never ever met. A lot of times that makes it easier to confess, because you are real but really only on paper because I don't know how your laughter sounds or even what you sound like when you speak or how tall you are when you stand next to me or what it's like to give you a hug involving arms and torsos and not 0s and 1s. But I know a lot of secrets, a lot of fears, a lot of hopes. I dare say I know you all better than most of my friends - I am proud to say it.Anyway. Tangent. I met them downtown and we went to Miller's Pub for lunch, which was packed with Bears and Saints fans when we arrived but quickly thinned out. Jessie is adorable and crazy for wearing heels in Chicago in the middle of the winter.
ashley, she took a picture for you but I don't know how well it came out, hopefully I look like my hot self in it. ;)I had the Bears/Saints game on while I studied, and I couldn't help but root for the Bears even though I hate football. I got caught up in the excitement of it all, I guess, I couldn't help hoping that the Bears would win, being the home team and all that. A part of me wanted the Saints to win, to bounce back after Hurricane Katrina and a 3-13 record and go to the Super Bowl the very next year, but I think making it to the championship game was not too shabby either. Adam and I talked about having a Super Bowl party, given the enormous TV and all. It will be different than other years, cheering for a team that I am constantly surrounded by support for. I still don't care, but that doesn't mean I can't enjoy myself.
I am in the midst of studying my 140 page binder for my upcoming training week at Bandera. I have two tests every day of my training (there are 6 days), tests on the seating chart, the computer abbreivations, the appetizers, the soups, the sides, the entrees, the desserts, the liquor, the red wine, the white wine, the artwork on the walls and then I get to serve the GM and take a final written and verbal test.
I understand the need for such thoroughness, especially considering how much they pride their service and how big a part of the dining experience is it. Still, can we say overkill? None of the ingredients are listed on the menu, so I need to know EVERYTHING in case of food allergies or just for general questions, and each dish has between 6 to 12 ingredients. And there are about 40 dishes. THAT IS A LOT OF FOOD IN MY BRAIN. Plus the wines, plus the ARTWORK (wtf?). Yikes. No playing for Serena this week.
And now I am going to get back to work. I feel like I'm at Purchase again, though with less distractions. And by distractions, I mean blowing off work to drink with the boys. Sigh. Miss you. See some of you in two weeks!
