Well, I spent another day in the emergency room yesterday. I wonder if I start getting a room that's saved for me after 3 visits.

I woke up with a little bit of pain in my lower back on the right side, but I'd had it since Wednesday and honestly I thought it was just a pulled muscle. As I got ready for work it got more and more painful, and just kept getting worse. I stopped at Starbucks to get some water and a muffin so I could take some Motrin, and I got really dizzy and nauseous and I couldn't really stand up straight. By the time I walked into work I was crying, it hurt so badly.

I sat in the back and my GM brought me some milk and Annie suggested that I go to the ER. I was going to just go to the Minute Clinic because I was starting to suspect that it was kidney related, but I just figured it was a UTI. I was in so much pain though that the ER sounded more and more like the best idea. I got in a cab, even though the hospital is only about 6 blocks from work, and that's when I started to get really nauseous and knew I was going to throw up, and I got really worried because clearly something was very wrong.

I got checked in at the ER and they took my blood pressure and temperature and all that. They still had all my info on file from when I got my transfusion so then it just because a waiting game for a bed. I threw up a bunch of times in the waiting room, and was too sick to be embarrassed. Luckily all I'd had was some water and a few pieces of pound cake from Starbucks, and throwing up chocolate was surprisingly pleasant.

I was in so much pain. It was very concentrated over my right kidney and just never ended, it wasn't a stabbing pain, just nonstop pressure that was so intense I couldn't stop my right leg from shaking. I'd called Adam so he could come down and stay with me, and waiting for him was just agony. I was crying and shaking and throwing up and it was AWFUL.

They finally had a bed ready for me, and led me up to the same place I'd gone for my transfusion. Stupid me thought I could walk the whole way, and I got sick as soon as I got up there again. At that point there was nothing to throw up by bile, and then it became drying heaving, it was horrible. I managed to get into a gown and curl up into a ball on the bed while the best nurse EVER put in the IV - she did it so fast that I barely even felt it, it was amazing.

They immediately started me on anti-nausea meds, and gave me some narcotic that's similar to morphine for the pain. They had to give me more about 10 minutes later because while I did feel the medication take effect (my whole body felt woozy and my legs felt like jelly), I was still in a lot of pain. They gave me more and then another medication on top of that, and then I started to feel goooooood. The pain was gone, it was amazing.

Adam got there as they were wheeling me out to get a CT Scan. I felt like I was in an episode of House, it was pretty cool. When I got back he came and sat with me in my little private room, and we just hung out playing each other in Scrabble on our iPhones. The doctors figured it was kidney stones and were waiting for the CT results and also the urine analysis to come back.

We waited for that stuff for about 3 hours. Finally it came back: I had a kidney stone AND a UTI. AWESOME. I also apparently have a couple more stones in each of my kidneys that haven't done anything yet, so I have to go see a urologist next week so we can talk about what has to be done for them. They were debating about whether to keep me because they didn't want me to develop an infection, but I didn't have a fever so they said as long as I remained fever-free I could go. They gave me an IV of antibiotics that took about an hour to drip into my system, during which time I made Adam watch Bones, and then we were free to go.

Let me tell you: Vicodin is a wonderful thing. I took two last night because the pain was starting to come back, and it made me a little loopy and drowsy. I've been super tired all day, I'm fighting to keep my eyes open so I can type this.

So basically I need to drink a ton more water than I had been. I'm sure there are dietary restrictions, everything I've found online said less meat. My mother wasn't really helpful, I was looking for comfort and she was all, "well this gives you a chance to think about your lifestyle and reflect on it and see what you need to change," AKA she thinks I'm an alcoholic and keeps dropping hints about it. FUCK OFF MOM. I love how she implies that it's my LIFESTYLE - hello, I eat pretty healthy, I work out consistently, and contrary to popular belief I only drink once or twice a week, and heavily maybe once or twice a month. UGH. I was really upset with her.

Anyway, my issues with my mom are for another entry.

So now in the last six months I've been anemic, had a transfusion, gone to the emergency room twice, had surgery to remove a fibroid, and had kidney stones. DO I GET A BREAK NOW? Seriously. I am so over it. I'm taking it all in stride as best I can but it's getting me down. I feel very emotionally drained. Like, I just can't catch a fucking break.

Oh, and I just got my period, which I wasn't supposed to get because of the Lupron shot that I'm on which is a high dose of hormones that's supposed to make me stop bleeding. FUCK YOU BODY. I called my gyno, who is out of town of course, and basically the only thing the nurse said was to keep an eye on it and if it gets really bad to go in and see another doctor. AHHH I JUST WANT TO GET BETTER.

And that is the story of my second trip to the emergency room. I'm really glad Adam was there with me, it was nice having the distraction. He was really great. And thank you for all the support too, it meant so much to me. I hate being a weak little cry baby but man, yesterday I couldn't help it. All the love coming in was great.

+

I feel like things are in such upheaval lately. There is so much going on...I go to Florida in a week, the cats go to the shelter on Saturday (sadface), I still have to do my taxes, I didn't renew my lease so I need to figure out where I'm going to move to...a lot of stress right now.

I have to start getting all the cat stuff together, I can't believe they are leaving me forever on Saturday. I am really sad, but honestly, I'm kind of relieved too. I feel like I've failed in a way, because I wasn't able to give them the kind of home they deserve even though I love them so much. It just isn't fair to all of us, I'm not home enough for them and I can't live the rest of my life with cats who pee on my stuff. I pray they go to good homes and have long and happy lives and that the people who adopt them love them as much as I do. I will miss having my kitties greet me when I come home and snuggle with me at night. It's going to be lonely. At the end of the day, I just hope that we are all happy and that they are loved and cared for.

And I don't want to think about it anymore because I will cry.

Okay, I need to pop more Vicodin and take a nice hot shower. Looks like the house is going to remain a mess today. Oh well.

Okay, the surgery to remove my fibroid is set for Monday January 18th at 9am.

I am not allowed to eat or drink after midnight the night before. I must get to the hospital 2 hours before. Surgery will last one hour, and I will be in recovery for two more after that. I took four days off work, during which I plan to watch Star Wars, BSG, and who knows what else.

It's nice to have a game plan, and I am ready to get this thing out!!!!

+

The porn will have to wait til tomorrow. I'm still ironing out the kinks (heh) in my head.

Just put my (fake) Christmas tree up. I hardly decorated last year and it was sad, so I stole Adam's fake tree cuz Ted likes to get a real one. It's big, and awesome, and I have colorful decorations and it is going to look awesome when it's done. Alas, I need more lights, so I can't put the bulbs on until I can hit Target again.

Here's hoping the cats don't destroy it.

The best part of my tree is that I have Yoda at the top as my guardian angel!! Oh yes. He even has a light saber that lights up. I win at Christmas.

I bought Tori's Christmas album, Midwinter Graces, but haven't given it a listen yet. Except for Pink and Glitter, which rules. I saw 2012 on Monday and it was AWESOME. I love disaster movies. I also bought Star Trek on blu ray because it is also awesome. I had some nice days off, doing some thinking. My head is a weird place right now.

Almost time to head to the doc to find out what we do about my fibroids. Cross your fingers that that's all it is!

Man, I have a lot of clothes. I am currently going through my wardrobe to weed it out, in an admitted half-assed attempt at Spring Cleaning. I finally put together my new dresser for IKEA and instead of just filling it with clothes that will never get worn, I am going through everything I own. The Salvation Army is going to have a field day with all this.

I am also trying to finally be an adult and get rid of all the stuff I have from high school that I will never ever wear anymore because it just doesn't fit right. Man, some of the stuff I got away with wearing back then amazes me! It was all tits and ass even with the dress code we had to abide by. Oh, the good old days. Now when I dress slutty I have to make sure it does not result in me having muffin tops or showing off the backs of my thighs too much. Getting old sucks.

I have a coffee table! I finally feel like my apartment is done. Only took 2 years! I am debating whether or not I want to paint, especially in my bedroom. I need to get more of my photos printed and hung up, maybe then it will seem a little less bare. I'm on the lookout for funky pieces and stuff but I don't really know what kind of theme I want, y'know? So far it's just dance and a poster from home. Something to work on.

Also, I want a pole but I have nowhere to put it. I've wanted to take poledancing classes for FOREVER but they don't fit into my schedule because they're all on the weekends. Weekends do not work for me. My friend Jameela just bought one and now I realllllllllly want one. Sadly, there is really nowhere to put it as my living room is pretty crowded as is. I must meditate on it, I can make it work, I know it.

I spent the weekend in horrible pain thanks to cramps. At least that meant no babies, but when I say horrible, I mean I was literally up all night on Friday because I couldn't sleep. Clearly something is very wrong and I'm gonna have to go back to the doc. Looks like a D&C is more and more likely. Yikes. Not really into it but if it makes my period go back to normal, I'm in. You should see the stuff that was coming out of my body, it was like an ecological disaster. Not fun.

I need a new header. It will still be Kara and Lee because hello, OTP LOVE, but it's time for something new. Guess I should get Photoshop installed so I can play, huh?

Right. Back to work.