helikedmyshoes: (vm + she calls it a trip to the dentist)
My AWFULEVILHORRIBLE job made me MISS the first half of VM!

(But they made me taste about 12 wines and 4 champanges so I'm kinda high as a kite right now, ya know what I'm saying?)

ANYWAY.

The parts that I saw of tonight, I liked. A LOT. Diane Ruggiero is the new Tim Minear. She KNOWS what the characters can do while RT has his head up his ass, as Joss Whedon did back in the day.

Anyway. Part deux.

It's going to take me like 8 weeks to dl this episode because Simon, the guy who's internet we steal, has decided to not let me steal it anymore and the internet that replaces it is slowslowSLOW. So can someone fill me in on what I missed? I caught the post-coital scene. OHMYGOD Do you still love me? YES.

OH OTP. YOU FILL ME WITH HAPPYHAPPYJOYJOY.

Also, I never thought I would ever say this. But.
I'm cutting because being drunk doesn't mean I don't have manners )

Oh Rob Thomas. Ye of little faith. I AM NOT GOING ANYWHERE. My OTP will reign again, and there's not a damn thing you can do about it!

Seriously, folks. Can this show be about V/L talks and hookers every week?
helikedmyshoes: (Default)
I've been feeling pretty down these past few days. The whole job thing is really starting to weigh on me. I want to quit krem but I don't have anything to replace it yet. The other place I might start at hasn't called me. I dropped off a few applications yesterday and have an interview next week, but the interview is for a place that won't open until the end of January. I really don't want to be stuck at krem until then. But it looks like I don't really have a choice.

I just want to get settled finally, get a routine going, start making money again. I'm still fine money wise but I definitely need to start working and making money steadily. I really wish krem had been different, because now I feel jinxed or something and that I'll be searching for months for a job that will stabilize me like I need it to. I want something during the day, breakfast or lunch, and then bartending a few nights a week. Of course, I also have to remember to be patient, I always think that when I go apply for a job it means I'm going to get it, no matter what, and just because I want this to happen doesn't mean it will, at least right away. It's just starting to get me down.

I bought some new bras at the Victoria's Secret sale but I think I'm going to return one of them because it's not quite what I wanted. And I also treated myself to this bag from bebe sport. I've been eyeing it for months, I originally wanted it in white with a pink B but I figured it would get too dirty. It is my new gym bag and I love and adore it, even if it did cost more than I should've spent.

Sometimes I feel like this is all a dream.

OWW.

Jan. 1st, 2007 09:16 am
helikedmyshoes: (Default)
The entire right side of my chest from throat to beneath my ribcage is KILLING ME, every time I inhale and exhale it feels like someone is shoving a knife in and splitting me open. It almost feels as though something is lodged in it, like when you get a hard candy stuck in the back of your throat. I have no health insurance - I can't go to the doctor. This has never happened before, I have no idea what could be causing it. I was crying when Adam woke up, out of pain and exhaustion and frustration.

The pain woke me up at around 5:30, after I'd fallen asleep at 4 following a night at work that got progressively worse as it unfolded, climaxing rather spectacularly with two of my three tables not leaving me a penny and a girl getting hit by a car outside the club. And now I can't breathe, and I am supposed to go in to the new bar I hope to start working in today at 4 to work the Rose Bowl game. I am running on an hour and a half of sleep, can't breathe, and am going to have words with my boss later today about what happened last night.

Happy effin New Year.

(I really hope it gets better from here.)

As for 2006, I will first do what I do every year and quote Tori:

they say you were something in those formative years
hold onto nothing as fast as you can!-

well.
still.
pretty good year.


2006 had a lot of heights and a lot of lows that balanced each other out pretty perfectly. There was my nightmarish 2 job no sleep no happiness months which led to lots of vacations and seeing the people I love as mch as I could. There was LA that taught me so much, including that it's okay to change your mind and that changing your mind doesn't mean giving up, which led to Chicago and being 23 which is older than 22 but makes me feel younger and freer. There was work work work for nine months straight, six of those nine working 80 hours a week, which led to not working at all for three months straight and feeling younger and freer.

That's how I would catalog 2006 - the year of balance, of misery and happiness, of figuring out how to be an adult and a kid at the same time, of standing up for myself and saying "this is what I'm doing now and I don't care if you don't like it." I started out living this year for other people and ended it living for me, on my own terms, and I am very proud of myself. I feel older and wiser and a little more peaceful.

There really is something about misery that motivates me, and the levels I can endure go deeper than what my love life has put me through, in a different way; a place where there's not just one person to blame, which makes it a place that I can claw my way out of by making changes and not having to rely on someone else to decide the fate of my world. I think that is a very important lesson - there are things in the world bigger than love. That's one of the most important things LA taught me: things that can hurt me don't always involve the boys I love. My view can get awfully narrow sometimes, and I am thankful for this new persepctive.

2006 was a good year despite, or maybe because of, all that. But that's the way it goes, isn't it? You can't truly appreciate something until you've been without it.

I will never regret moving to LA and am thankful for all it taught me. But man. It's good to be out.

So long, 2006. And thanks for all the fish.
helikedmyshoes: (b/a + somewhere the rainbow ends my dear)
I am starting to worry about this whole job thing. I know there's not much I can do before I leave for New York on Sunday, but still. I need to find something as soon as I get back, because I only have 3 shifts in the next two weeks at krem. sigh. I HATE looking for jobs.

Speaking of krem, one of the girls who bartends there is going to be on Beauty and the Geek this season. She was bragging about it the other day. Her page on the CW website is here. I am equally amused and horrified by this. She seems like a nice enough person.

I have to meet Adam in a little while for dinner - then we are hopefully watching the Muppet Christmas Carol and then going to watch Krystal in her karaoke finals. It is cold and rainy and I'm not particularly looking forward to going outside, but we haven't gone out to dinner in a while so I am looking forward to it.

AHH JOB. FREAKING OUT OVER HERE.

Right. Over and out.
helikedmyshoes: (vm + team logan.  bitch.)
(This was supposed to be posted yesterday. It didn't work. I am posting it today.)

Firstly, I LOVE this icon. For reals,

Tonight is our Christmas party! The house is spotless, the brownies have been made, cheese and crackers have been purchased. I'm making red and green appletinis and there will be champagne and beer and wine, oh my! I am incredibly excited - but I can't for the life of me figure out what I want to wear.

Adam and I exchanged Christmas presents last Tuesday. Besides laser tag, I bought him the complete Monty Python's Flying Circus DVD set, and a novel that Hugh Laurie wrote called The Gun Seller. He bought me an iLive for my iPod. It has awesome speakers and a DVD player and the radio and I can control my iPod with a remote! I am so in love with it!! Yay for presents!

I finally made money at work on Saturday. $180, which isn't terrible for my first real night. The first table I had ordered 2 bottles of champagne at $100 a pop! Pretty sweet. I'll get the hang of this place and then I'm gonna have to start hustling. And I am NEVER wearing heels again to work, I couldn't walk by the end of my shift. My feet still haven't forgiven me.

I am going home in 6 days!! That hasn't hit me yet at all. I can't wait!

I've been bad about updating...oops. I'll try to be better. When I get back from New York, I'm going to look for another job, in addition to krem. I don't know if I'll be getting enough shifts there to support myself. We'll see what happens.

Time to go get the booze!!

+

24 hours later. I am still hung over.
helikedmyshoes: (buffy + i believe in a better world)
I ODed on History Channel 9/11 documentaries on Tuesday. Seriously, there were about 6 hours of them and I was just transfixed. Finally Adam had to put on Scrubs so I could take a break. It was eerie.

I officially start work tonight. I go in at 7 and the press party for the grand opening starts at 7:30. I am beyond nervous. I will just keep going over my sheets, the menus and the drink menu, until I get this stuff down. Everybody's going to be new and unsure too - I just have to keep reminding myself of that. I'm also working tomorrow and Saturday, hopefully, as I'm only scheduled for Tuesday next week. I'm hoping to get at least 3 shifts here, but I've begun entertaining the notion of finding another job to supplement. Maybe a lunch shift somewhere so I can have some nights free to hang with the peeps.

Time to go meet Molly for lunch!!

fame!

Dec. 8th, 2006 11:40 am
helikedmyshoes: (buffy + hi!  i'm an enormous slut!)
So we have the soft opening at work tonight, where our friends get to come and drink and we get to work for two hours and then drink with them. Should be interesting...none of us still really knows what the hell is going on, but we'll figure it out along the way. I'm exctied! And nervous.

We got to taste the food last night...OH MY GOD, you guys. It is INCREDIBLE. Now, I don't like seafood, and I don't like lamb, but I tried what they made last night and HOLY GOD was it good. Shrimp (I hate shrimp!), some white fish with a cinnamon sugar crust, crabcakes made without breading - I liked all of them! I think that's a real testament to the place, that they got me to enjoy food I don't normally eat. And the lamb...MMMM. So wonderful.

Hopefully this place is going to work out! I really hope I get at least 3 shifts a week, hopefully 4. I gotta bust my ass and show them what I'm made of, and I will do just that. I'm nervous, but excited!

+

You know what would be nice? Some sex.

The other morning was a tease. sigh.

+

So since my account expired, I only get to use 6 of my user pictures. 2 of them are about alcohol and 1 is about being slutty. Is LJ trying to tell me something?

+

I think I'll head downtown, maybe pick up something to wear tonight, or some new shoes, or something. Like I really need to be spending money right now...oh well.
helikedmyshoes: (star wars + han/leia + downtime is nice)
The apartment, that is. We went to IKEA on Monday and spent almost three hours picking out furniture. We ended up with a TV stand, two end tables, a coffee table, a chair and an ottoman, a desk, a table that gets bolted to the wall and can be put down to make extra room, a stool, some posters, two large pillows, a bunch of candles, and a couple other odds and ends.

We assembled all night and then spent yesterday and today rearranging, reorganizing and cleaning the place from top to bottom. It looks GREAT. It's a totally different apartment! I actually want to spend time in here! We moved Adam's large desk and book shelf into Peter's room and now have ourselves a study and a hell of a lot more room in the bedroom. Everything is organized and put away now, and we got holiday decorations today that we have to put up. Lights, garland, stockings, Christmas ornaments...now we just need a tree!

I will take pictures, probably tomorrow in the light.

We went out last night and I got TRASHED. Well, I got trashed at Anna's (too much vodka!) and then we went out and I don't really remember being at the bar, just having Anna get me a cab home and then having the cab driver hit on me and try to hold my hand and say we should hang out. CREEPED ME OUT!!! I had him let me out about 5 blocks from the apartment, I couldn't stay in that cab with him! He kept saying I didn't have to pay but I threw $10 at him and got out real quick. I vaguely remember texting Adam and Anna as I stumbled home, telling them about it. Took me three blocks just to make sure all the spelling was correct. I got home, pulled out the futon in the living room because there was crap on the bed, and fell asleep with the TV on. Adam came home later and made sure I was okay, I was still so out of it! I perked up when he hooked up my computer to the TV, though...porn on the big screen is AWESOME. Especially when it's starring the one and only Jenna Jameson. Y'know how I roll.

I had another meeting at work today. The opening has been pushed back a week as the place isn't close to being done. Over the past few days I've been really super nervous about the job, I even had a nightmare about it the other day! But this morning I woke up and felt good, felt excited about it. I think it was actually admitting it to someone, I told Anna how I was feeling scared and as soon as I did I felt better. We all introduced ourselves, even though most everyone already knows each other, and I think that helped even more. Hopefully this is going to work out!!

Speaking of nightmares, I had one the other night that I was still in LA and this whole time in Chicago had been a dream! Or I ended up back in LA, somehow, it was fuzzy, but I remember thinking that Adam was going to be mad because I was going to make him come out and get me again. I was freaking out until I woke up and realized it was all just a horrible dream. Yuck.

I'm going home in three and a half weeks!! It's so weird, I haven't been there in almost 6 months...the last time I saw my sister was last January!!! I'm ready, it'll be great to go back and see everyone, spend time with the fam, see what new things my parents have done to the house in my absense. When I left, they turned my room into a closet. When my sister left, they turned hers into a Japanese-style meditation room. wtf?

I have so many dishes to do, it's unreal.
helikedmyshoes: (misc + that other shoe)
Adam cooked the most delicious thing he's ever made (aside from mac and cheese, obv.): chicken cordon bleu, a green bean salad with roasted almonds and garlic, and steamed asparagus. Anna and Julia were here and we ate and drank cheap wine and watched Back to the Future on the new TV. We also checked out the personal ads in the reader, the XXX ones are always so wonderful. I wonder if that stuff actually works. It must - there are a lot of lonely people in the world.

Anna, Julia and I also made a run to Salvation Army so they could drop off some stuff, a vanity, some clothes, and as soon as we pulled up at dusk these people came over to us and started looking through what we were leaving there. They took the vanity for a little girl who ran up to Julia and asked if she could have it and some winter boots and when we left they were sifting through the clothes. Incredibly sad, but also kind of joyous and very humbling.

We are off to IKEA today to buy a TV stand. I also want a bookshelf, and we have to figure out what we want to do with the back room. I'm thinking study.

It was 65 over the weekend. 65 in Chicago in November. AWESOME. Of course by Thursday it's going to drop into the 20s, so I'm thinking this was our last heat wave until June. Still, it was nice going outside without a jacket, and when I was downtown on State Street on Saturday it was nice to see so many people out enjoying the warmth and taking advantage of all the sales.

I've been having lots of anxiety about the new job. I feel like I'm going to totally fail at it. Oh well - all I can do is try. Speaking of, I need to go memorize the menu and drink list before I pick Adam up at 2.

Also, my phone rang around midnight, the number was not one I recognized but I picked it up anyway because who calls someone at midnight on a Sunday? Whoever it was hung up, and then called back a few minutes later. Turned out it was that guy who asked me out on Halloween. He was calling A MONTH after the fact. Wtf? AND it was midnight, AND I was drunk, AND I don't want to go out with him. The connection was bad, I couldn't hear much so I hung up. He didn't call back. I hope he doesn't.

Strange.

Well I was going to go to the gym before 2 but now I won't have time. AHHH I suck. Memorize, shower, IKEA. And then there are rumors of karaoke tonight.
helikedmyshoes: (vm + v/l + i've always been a dreamer)
I am now officially employed. As a cocktail server.

Not really the position that I wanted, but we'll see how it goes. At least it's a job, and a job that I wanted at that. I have an employee meeting on Tuesday. Soon I will actually be making money, not just spending it! What a thought.

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