helikedmyshoes: (friday night lights + welcome to dillon)


It was fun, 1B. We had some times. Thanks for teaching me a lot about myself. I know you were just there, existing like you always have, and I needed that. I needed something constant and tangible and MINE.


(Love letters to my old apartment. Guess how well unpacking is going?)

Iron Man in 6 hours!
Two more photos )
helikedmyshoes: (bsg + lee + he thinks you're full of cra)
I AM SO FRAKKING SICK OF PACKING.

See? I'm boring Lee.

(By the by, I have not in fact watched the latest BSG. Shockgasphorror! But can I say, I am not looking forward to a certain Cylon's return next week. Am I the only one who couldn't give two fraks about him? Makes my skin crawl, he does.)

Guess I should go put some more stuff in boxes.
helikedmyshoes: (Default)
Moving sucks.

So does not having Internet.

I bought a couch and a bike yesterday. I love my new platinum no interest until 2008 credit card. Wait til I get to IKEA.

The moving truck has been rented, boxes are packed, Adam got his keys yesterday so we can slowly start moving the smaller stuff over. The next week is going to suck. I will reward myself with a kitten.

Miss you all. I'll catch up tomorrow, hopefully.
helikedmyshoes: (ad + everybody dance now)
We made it!

Actually, we got in early early yesterday morning around 6 after leaving Vegas Friday morning. Two solid days of driving, driving, almost hitting a cow, and more driving, and we made it. The car is unpacked, we got drunk last night. Life is good.

God, it feels good to be out of LA.
helikedmyshoes: (vm + v/l + flammable)
Aaaaannnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnd...

I'm off!

Now, it's going to be hard driving away when I've got both middle fingers up and pointed at this place, but I think I'll be able to manage. At least I don't have to surf away like Kurt Russell. Escape from LA! Woo hoo!

It's been real.

See y'all in Chi-town.
helikedmyshoes: (vm + mars > you)
I really need to get on this whole packing thing. I have a lot more crap than I thought. It had better all fit in the car, I swear to God. As of now, Adam will most likely be riding on the roof.

I am now officially unemployed. Umm...gulp. I mean, I have a fair amount of money saved, but still. I was planning to hang out in Chicago for a month or two without working but I don't think that's going to happen. I am kind of a freak about money and the thought of not having any income is slightly terrifying.

And now I've just wasted half an hour on MySpace. Why does it insist on asking me silly questions like "Do you really want to add Veronica Mars as a friend?" Of COURSE I do.

I am officially procrastinating.
helikedmyshoes: (gg + watch them as they go sailing away)
While packing, I stumbled across all my old college acceptance letters. Bard, Ithaca, Hunter, Binghamton, Albany. What would my life been like? I can't even begin to imagine.

Beneath those were recommendation letters and AP scores and guidance counselor signatures and entrance essays and housing info from Purchase. It all seems so very far away now, lifetimes ago. God, looking back, when I was filling out those applications and writing those essays, I never thought I'd be where I am today. I don't think I really thought about it at all. It was all about the doing, the process, the art of finishing something I started, and then after the finishing would come whatever I had to tackle next. There are never endings, there's only the next thing. And here is my next thing, packing up my life yet again, making another big move. So many moves over the last few years. First school, then LA, now Chicago.

I never ever want to stop learning.

It's funny, looking back at this stuff, I'm not thinking about my time at Purchase, about my friends and my experiences and my classes and my life there. I'm thinking about before that, when I was a high school senior who had finally figured out what she wanted to do, who had so many choices and so many potential paths laid out in front of her with block-lettered stationary and scholarship options.

And I see how my choices narrowed as the scholarships weren't enough, and how I looked at going to Purchase as settling, and how I didn't even care after that, how it felt like the choice had been taken away from me by circumstances beyond my control. And I think, sometimes - well, in this case anyway - that's not such a bad thing. Sometimes you need to have the big choices made for you, because it's in the aftermath that you really learn and thrive and realize that this is what you needed all along. Sometimes life's funny, the way it works out. Or doesn't work out.

It's comforting to me, finding these things now, because I feel very much like I felt then. Like I never made a choice when I decided to leave LA and go to Chicago, like it was inevitable, like there was no point in fighting because there was nothing to fight. It was just something I knew I was going to do, and maybe I'm doing it for the wrong reasons, or maybe I don't yet know the reasons, or maybe I don't need any reasons at all.

I feel like, once again, I have so many choices and so many potential paths, and it's exciting and scary to see where they'll lead and what I'll do next. I am a creature of habit, but I also seem to enjoy these huge life altering changes, and, as in everything, I think it is just another way for me to find balance between familiar and new. I am scared, I am elated, I am going to be okay.

Also, in high school I weighed 109lbs.
helikedmyshoes: (brokeback + you can't fix it)
I booked the hotel for Vegas. We will be staying at the Signature at the MGM Grand, in a junior suite with a jacuzzi tub in the bathroom. Yeah. Happy birthday to me! Got to the website and tell me how awesome that room is.

So Adam's flight has been booked, and now the room has been booked. Next I have to start packing. Figuring out what to take, what to throw out, what to give away. I'm probably going to ship most of my books media rate to free up room in the car, and I'm buying those Space Bags for most of my clothes to keep my suitcase free for other things. I keep thinking I don't have much, but I know I'm going to have more than I think.

Yes, I am getting excited. Yes, I am counting the weeks. It's still too soon to do the days, but once September 1st comes it won't be. I am a little scared, too, to be honest, getting up and getting a whole new routine, learning a new city, meeting new people, but it is something I have been preparing for, longing for, thinking about for a long time. I am ready.

Also I have to figure out what I'm doing with my gym memberbship. I went on the LA Fitness website but the only two gyms in the Chicago area are not actually in the city, even though Adam said he saw one in Lakeview. I have to go in and talk to them and find out what the deal is. Otherwise I have to give them my notice that next month will be my last.

I need to talk to Kevin as well, and I'm thinking of calling the temp agency and asking for an assignment just for the week if they have one, just to make some extra cash. I may do that tomorrow. I'm hesitant because I keep thinking the restaurant will pick up (even though it's going to keep winding down as summer coms to an end) and I don't want to spend my last few weeks here working like a crazy person. But I also don't have to get a job as soon as I get to Chicago, so I may just bite the bullet.

Still have to write up my parents' stay - we had a great time, and I love them so much.

Random celebrity sighting: Travis Barker skateboarding on the bike path at Santa Monica Beach. We were riding bikes in the opposite direction so we just passed each other briefly, but he was covered in tattoos, all skin and bones.

I should go to the gym - I told Louis, the bartender on today, that I'd go in early to relieve him so I have to be to work at 4 instead of 6. I'd like to get a brief workout in, maybe just run a mile or two and jump on the stairmaster for a few.

Yesterday, as I was working out on the bike reading The Kite Runner (a fabulous book that everyone must read), one of the personal trainers interrupted me and asked what I was reading, then went on to say that I wasn't getting a workout because I was reading and listening to music. He gave me his whole spiel how what I was doing wasn't enough and I need to work my core and strenghten and tone and blah blah blah, obviously just trying to get me to sign up with him for sessions. Umm...no. I've lost 20 pounds already doing what I'm doing, obviously it's working for me just fine. I HATE that about my gym, the trainers are always on your ass to sign up with them. It's like, if I wanted to, I would do it, so leave me the fuck alone. As soon as I said I was moving he backed off and went away.

The thing is, I DO want to have a session with someone just to get new exercises to move to the next level, start strengthening my arms and legs. All I do is cardio. But I don't want to take my free session that I still haven't used from when I signed up in January because I know all it will be is an hour long pitch on why I need to hire them to be my trainer. I'm thinking of asking my neighbor downstairs, he's a trainer and I'd much rather have him show me than someone else.

Anyway. I'm going.

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