helikedmyshoes: (Default)
I owe everyone thanks for your warm well wishes in the aftermath of surgery and fibroid expelling. Seriously, you all made my heart smile. Thank you for being here for me, always.

+

This has been the easiest, most amazing period I've had in 2 years. I'd really like to keep it this way for forever.

+

In pole this week, I learned how to do a Layout - hang upside down on the pole using only my thighs to hold me there. HARD. Also, awesome. Note to self: don't go to class hungover EVER. P.S. especially don't go upside down a lot. It was good to sweat it all out, though.

+

I told myself I'd go grocery shopping and to the gym today. I did neither. Now I have to shower and get ready for work. I did some crunches and push ups, though, and I've been eating well and drinking a ton of water as per my urologist's orders. I do need to cut back on the sodium even more though, I've been bad about that.

+

Right. No more discussions at [livejournal.com profile] no_takebacks about how great the table flashback scene is. Shower, eat, work. I've got two doubles in a row staring tomorrow, both of which I open and close the bar. I need all the energy I can get.

Healing

May. 14th, 2010 12:22 am
helikedmyshoes: (bsg + lee + a boy into a man)
I am finally processing all that happened to me this week, but I'm not quite ready to write about it. Too much trauma. I'm on the mend, but definitely spooked, and grateful for my life and the people in it.

Scary.
helikedmyshoes: (Default)
Adam is coming to pick me up in a minute so we can head to the hospital. Surgery is at 11, check in is at 9. All I want is for it to go smoothly again and for this to be the last time we have to do this.

Here's hoping!

Posted via LiveJournal.app.

helikedmyshoes: (bsg + katee + professionally goodlooking)
Sorry I've been MIA. Life is finally starting to get back to normal.

Felicia is with me through next week. She has been behaving admirably so far. I guess it really was just that her and Abby couldn't live together. I checked the PAWS website tonight and Abby's picture is up. I hope she goes to her forever home soon and that they take amazing care of her.

I'm rereading Atlas Shrugged and loving every minute of it. Dagny is currently in Atlantis. If I ever have a daughter, I want to call her Dagny, so when she grows up she can read that book and realize what an amazing character she is named after. Dagny kicks so much ass. Love her.

Apartment hunting is stressful.

Body is also stressful. I've started spotting (I got one whole week without my period! SIGH) late at night but in the morning when I take my birth control it stops. Gonna call my doctor tomorrow and see what he has to say. Stupid fibroid. I NEED THIS THING OUT OF ME NOW. On the kidney stone front, I am awaiting testing materials from a lab company. I get to a 48 hour urine analysis, get blood drawn, and have another CT scan. YAY. Thank god for insurance.

I am having a Tori Renaissance. (This seems to go nicely with my reread of Atlas Shrugged. Both are incredibly influential forces in my life, Tori moreso than AS.) It's been too long since I've listened to her, so I think for the next few days I'm going to just hit shuffle and immerse myself in Tori.

I need to have someone look at my taxes to make sure I did them right. Here's hoping they find some stuff I missed.

Pole dancing continues to be amazing. I learned a new trick this week called the Flying Body Spiral - I LOVE IT. You literally fly around the pole. It's killer on the arms and back but so fun. Can't believe Level 4 is almost done. My class is combining with the other 10am Sunday class because we're all upper level now and I'll be getting a new teacher. She taught my class this week because there were only 2 of us in my class and 1 in hers so my teacher had us just take from Monique. It was fun because Julie (my teacher) took the class with us. I love Monique's teaching style, after each free dance she takes a moment and tells you everything that was beautiful about the way you moved. It was really inspiring. I was a little wary of getting a new teacher, because I've been with Julie for 8 months now, but I think it's going to work out nicely.

Going to curl up with my book and my cat until I fall asleep.
helikedmyshoes: (farscape + j/a + bad ass)
Well, I spent another day in the emergency room yesterday. I wonder if I start getting a room that's saved for me after 3 visits.

I woke up with a little bit of pain in my lower back on the right side, but I'd had it since Wednesday and honestly I thought it was just a pulled muscle. As I got ready for work it got more and more painful, and just kept getting worse. I stopped at Starbucks to get some water and a muffin so I could take some Motrin, and I got really dizzy and nauseous and I couldn't really stand up straight. By the time I walked into work I was crying, it hurt so badly.

I sat in the back and my GM brought me some milk and Annie suggested that I go to the ER. I was going to just go to the Minute Clinic because I was starting to suspect that it was kidney related, but I just figured it was a UTI. I was in so much pain though that the ER sounded more and more like the best idea. I got in a cab, even though the hospital is only about 6 blocks from work, and that's when I started to get really nauseous and knew I was going to throw up, and I got really worried because clearly something was very wrong.

I got checked in at the ER and they took my blood pressure and temperature and all that. They still had all my info on file from when I got my transfusion so then it just because a waiting game for a bed. I threw up a bunch of times in the waiting room, and was too sick to be embarrassed. Luckily all I'd had was some water and a few pieces of pound cake from Starbucks, and throwing up chocolate was surprisingly pleasant.

I was in so much pain. It was very concentrated over my right kidney and just never ended, it wasn't a stabbing pain, just nonstop pressure that was so intense I couldn't stop my right leg from shaking. I'd called Adam so he could come down and stay with me, and waiting for him was just agony. I was crying and shaking and throwing up and it was AWFUL.

They finally had a bed ready for me, and led me up to the same place I'd gone for my transfusion. Stupid me thought I could walk the whole way, and I got sick as soon as I got up there again. At that point there was nothing to throw up by bile, and then it became drying heaving, it was horrible. I managed to get into a gown and curl up into a ball on the bed while the best nurse EVER put in the IV - she did it so fast that I barely even felt it, it was amazing.

They immediately started me on anti-nausea meds, and gave me some narcotic that's similar to morphine for the pain. They had to give me more about 10 minutes later because while I did feel the medication take effect (my whole body felt woozy and my legs felt like jelly), I was still in a lot of pain. They gave me more and then another medication on top of that, and then I started to feel goooooood. The pain was gone, it was amazing.

Adam got there as they were wheeling me out to get a CT Scan. I felt like I was in an episode of House, it was pretty cool. When I got back he came and sat with me in my little private room, and we just hung out playing each other in Scrabble on our iPhones. The doctors figured it was kidney stones and were waiting for the CT results and also the urine analysis to come back.

We waited for that stuff for about 3 hours. Finally it came back: I had a kidney stone AND a UTI. AWESOME. I also apparently have a couple more stones in each of my kidneys that haven't done anything yet, so I have to go see a urologist next week so we can talk about what has to be done for them. They were debating about whether to keep me because they didn't want me to develop an infection, but I didn't have a fever so they said as long as I remained fever-free I could go. They gave me an IV of antibiotics that took about an hour to drip into my system, during which time I made Adam watch Bones, and then we were free to go.

Let me tell you: Vicodin is a wonderful thing. I took two last night because the pain was starting to come back, and it made me a little loopy and drowsy. I've been super tired all day, I'm fighting to keep my eyes open so I can type this.

So basically I need to drink a ton more water than I had been. I'm sure there are dietary restrictions, everything I've found online said less meat. My mother wasn't really helpful, I was looking for comfort and she was all, "well this gives you a chance to think about your lifestyle and reflect on it and see what you need to change," AKA she thinks I'm an alcoholic and keeps dropping hints about it. FUCK OFF MOM. I love how she implies that it's my LIFESTYLE - hello, I eat pretty healthy, I work out consistently, and contrary to popular belief I only drink once or twice a week, and heavily maybe once or twice a month. UGH. I was really upset with her.

Anyway, my issues with my mom are for another entry.

So now in the last six months I've been anemic, had a transfusion, gone to the emergency room twice, had surgery to remove a fibroid, and had kidney stones. DO I GET A BREAK NOW? Seriously. I am so over it. I'm taking it all in stride as best I can but it's getting me down. I feel very emotionally drained. Like, I just can't catch a fucking break.

Oh, and I just got my period, which I wasn't supposed to get because of the Lupron shot that I'm on which is a high dose of hormones that's supposed to make me stop bleeding. FUCK YOU BODY. I called my gyno, who is out of town of course, and basically the only thing the nurse said was to keep an eye on it and if it gets really bad to go in and see another doctor. AHHH I JUST WANT TO GET BETTER.

And that is the story of my second trip to the emergency room. I'm really glad Adam was there with me, it was nice having the distraction. He was really great. And thank you for all the support too, it meant so much to me. I hate being a weak little cry baby but man, yesterday I couldn't help it. All the love coming in was great.

+

I feel like things are in such upheaval lately. There is so much going on...I go to Florida in a week, the cats go to the shelter on Saturday (sadface), I still have to do my taxes, I didn't renew my lease so I need to figure out where I'm going to move to...a lot of stress right now.

I have to start getting all the cat stuff together, I can't believe they are leaving me forever on Saturday. I am really sad, but honestly, I'm kind of relieved too. I feel like I've failed in a way, because I wasn't able to give them the kind of home they deserve even though I love them so much. It just isn't fair to all of us, I'm not home enough for them and I can't live the rest of my life with cats who pee on my stuff. I pray they go to good homes and have long and happy lives and that the people who adopt them love them as much as I do. I will miss having my kitties greet me when I come home and snuggle with me at night. It's going to be lonely. At the end of the day, I just hope that we are all happy and that they are loved and cared for.

And I don't want to think about it anymore because I will cry.

Okay, I need to pop more Vicodin and take a nice hot shower. Looks like the house is going to remain a mess today. Oh well.

post op

Jan. 19th, 2010 02:09 am
helikedmyshoes: (bsg + nothing but the rain)
Surgery went off without a hitch.

I got to the hospital at 7, was IVed and ready to go by 8:20, in surgery and put under at 9:20 (seriously, such a weird sensation. I don't remember closing my eyes and then I was waking up in recovery curled up on my side) awake and recovering by 11. I was tired and dozed a bit while waiting for Adam to come get me but otherwise I felt fine, and I've felt fine all day. No bad reaction to the anesthesia, thank god! If I did say anything wacky, I don't remember it at all.

There has been some bleeding but nothing major. I have pain meds but the only thing that hurts is my throat from where they stuck a tube down it during surgery (thank god I don't remember this at all either!). I feel good, I napped with Adam for a while and then my friends came over for girls night. I have finally hit the wall and am going to bed, hopefully I will feel okay in the morning too!

All in all, I am so relieved that this is done and I can hopefully move on with my life! I am certainly ready to. Everyone at the hospital was super nice and I didn't feel nervous or scared at all.

And my gyno is currently watching BSG so that pretty much made my day.

My hand is blue and bruised from the IV. I need to go to bed.
helikedmyshoes: (tori + pip +  my dark twin)
Okay, the surgery to remove my fibroid is set for Monday January 18th at 9am.

I am not allowed to eat or drink after midnight the night before. I must get to the hospital 2 hours before. Surgery will last one hour, and I will be in recovery for two more after that. I took four days off work, during which I plan to watch Star Wars, BSG, and who knows what else.

It's nice to have a game plan, and I am ready to get this thing out!!!!

+

The porn will have to wait til tomorrow. I'm still ironing out the kinks (heh) in my head.

medical

Nov. 20th, 2009 01:04 am
helikedmyshoes: (bsg + nothing but the rain)
It's weird that I get pins and needles now, when for so long I didn't have enough blood so I never felt that particular sensation.

So it looks like I have to get surgery. It's really the only option for someone my age that doesn't fuck with fertility and all that. The fibroid is 3cm long and my doctor has to check the ultrasound to see exactly where it's located. If it's inside the uterus, they can just go up and take it out, no big. If it's attached to the outside of the uterus, then they have to go in through the abdomen, which means longer recovery time, which I do not need. Here's hoping it's inside and we can get it out!

If he can't tell from the ultrasound, I have to get an MRI. None of this will happen until January because I told him I can't take time off right now. The money is too good, frankly. When January hits and we slow down, I will be able to take a week off and not feel guilty. Timing is tricky because I go to Italy to ski in the middle of February so I need to be healed by then.

So basically we know what it is and there are ways to treat it. Taking it out doesn't mean another won't grow back in 5 years, and he said that depending on which surgery I need I may need a c-section if I ever have kids. I'm just glad that I know what it is and that we can deal with it.

And now I have to go to bed because this is a long work week and I need every bit of rest that I can get.

H2o

Nov. 10th, 2009 02:40 pm
helikedmyshoes: (Default)

Water is on my mind. Probably because I just drank 40oz of it in preparation for my ultrasound. Waiting for someone to hand my blue gown and press on my very full bladder.

How come I hear the song Carnival in the most random places?

So as I was typing they called me in and did the ultrasound. Abdominal and vaginal. It was definitely a lot less painful than the one I had in highschool! I go back to my doctor next Wednesday for the results. The nurse said it looks like fibroids, which my mom had. Guess I'll find out for sure next week.

Posted via LiveJournal.app.

o-pos

Oct. 16th, 2009 12:59 am
helikedmyshoes: (ad + home sweet home)
I spent 9 hours in the hospital today getting a blood transfusion because I was severely anemic. I'm exhausted from lying around, I'm going to bed. More tomorrow.

meh

Sep. 27th, 2009 12:24 am
helikedmyshoes: (fnl + clear eyes full hearts)
I FEEL LIKE CRAP.

Might have to skip pole tomorrow. :(

This is the first I've ever taken off at Bandera for being sick. I will work through anything. Especially pain. But this...I came home from work this afternoon (cuz I still worked the morning, just took the night off) and crashed for 3 hours. Didn't even move. I'm headed back to bed now. It hurts to breathe. This sucks.
helikedmyshoes: (bsg + galactica gun show)
Things I am currently obsessed with:

__tea tree oil. Seriously. I can't get enough of the tea tree oil smell. I rub it on my chest and arms every night before I go to bed so I can fall asleep smelling it. MMMM it's so delicious.

__Lady Gaga. Don't ask me why. Poker Face is awesome. Acoustic Poker Face, with just Gaga on the piano, is brilliant. Stop looking at me like that, it IS. Go to YouTube and see for yourself. I want to take a ride on your disco stick. FUCK YEAH.

__my body. Not in a good way. I let myself go a little after being so good about eating well and working out. I'm slowly getting back to where I want to be but it's a process.

__spring. How come on my days off it isn't sunny and 80? I get 50 and rain. Over it.

__the perfect dress for Stacy's wedding. It's out there. I must find it.

__summer movie previews. Terminator Salvation looks AWESOME. Transformers 2 looks decent. Star Trek looks sick. Harry Potter makes me giddy. GI Joe looks pretty awesome. Public Enemies looks fan-frakkking-tastic. Give me stuff that gets blown up and I am happy.

__Neil Gaiman. I am simultaneously Sandman Vol. 4 and Fragile Things. He is just brilliant.

__pop music. Somebody stop me.

__Starbuck and Apollo. What else is new? Oh PILOTS. You can frak on a table anytime.
helikedmyshoes: (bsg + k/l +  heard this one before?)
I woke up on Thursday with an enormous cold sore on my lip. Yuck.

I heart this icon so, so much.

yikes

Nov. 14th, 2008 12:47 am
helikedmyshoes: (bsg + k/l + you have a brain?)
WHEN DID IT BECOME OKAY FOR ME TO GET HEARTBURN?

I am so old.

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